Chapters (155)
- Copyright
- Dedication
- 1 Nearly Gutless Grace—Grace—
- 2 Head Space, Talk Space, Give Me Some Space—Grace—
- 3 I Do Like a Good Cup of Hurl Grey—Grace—
- 4 Every Little Thing He Does Is Not Magic—Grace—
- 5 Hot and Not So Heavy—Hudson—
- 6 In One Head and Out the Other—Grace—
- 7 Burning Down the Louse—Hudson—
- 8 Eat, Drink, and Be Wary—Grace—
- 9 From One Blink to the Necks—Grace—
- 10 Burning Your Britches—Hudson—
- 11 Sleep Like the Undead—Grace—
- 12 Grace on a Platter—Grace—
- 13 My Life Is an Open Phone—Grace—
- 14 Diary of a Vampire Kid—Grace—
- 15 The Best Defense Is More Defense—Hudson—
- 16 No Vamp Is an Island—Grace—
- 17 This Is How My Cookie Crumbles—Grace—
- 18 Trying to Lair Low—Hudson—
- 19 Put a String on It—Hudson—
- 20 All the Sizzle, None of the Heart—Hudson—
- 21 I’m Not RSVPing for This Pity Party—Grace—
- 22 All Cry, No Punishment—Grace—
- 23 Welcome to My Jungle—Hudson—
- 24 Dividing the Room in Styles—Grace—
- 25 I Mo, You Mo, We All Emo—Grace—
- 26 Re-Tweeting—Grace—
- 27 De-Briefing—Hudson—
- 28 It Dunks to Be Me—Grace—
- 29 How Do You Say Good-Pie?—Hudson—
- 30 Uneasy as Pie—Hudson—
- 31 Stalks and Bonds—Grace—
- 32 Some Bonds Can’t Be Unbroken—Grace—
- 33 Fake It or You Don’t Make It—Grace—
- 34 I Read You All Wrong—Grace—
- 35 Running Down a Nightmare—Grace—
- 36 Please Don’t Start the Fire—Grace—
- 37 You’re Dragon Me Down—Grace—
- 38 Waking Dawn—Hudson—
- 39 Keep Calm and Don’t Carry On—Hudson—
- 40 Don’t Farm It In—Grace—
- 41 Crop Till You Drop—Grace—
- 42 She’s Giving Me the Smokey Eye—Grace—
- 43 One Direction Is Not Just a Band—Hudson—
- 44 I Can Dish It Out If You Can Make It—Hudson—
- 45 Don’t Let the Bedvamps Bite—Hudson—
- 46 I Like to Sleep Tight, But Not This Tight—Grace—
- 47 You Really Stuck My Landing—Grace—
- 48 No Farm, No Foul—Grace—
- 49 Re-Veg Is Sweet—Hudson—
- 50 I’m Oh So Swan-Yay—Grace—
- 51 A Not So Savage Garden—Grace—
- 52 There Has to Be an Udder Way—Grace—
- 53 Suck It Up, Buttercup—Grace—
- 54 He’s Got Hangry Eyes—Hudson—
- 55 Afraid of My Own Shadow Queen—Hudson—
- 56 Baby Got Piggyback—Grace—
- 57 Cliffs Notes Got Nothing on Me—Hudson—
- 58 I Cave It My All—Grace—
- 59 I Know a Prick When I Smell One—Grace—
- 60 Tastes Like Teen Spirit—Hudson—
- 61 Carpe Drink-Em—Grace—
- 62 Dimples and Curls—Grace—
- 63 Tic-Tac-Toe and No Chill—Grace—
- 64 If I Could F(lie)—Hudson—
- 65 Live and Let’s Run—Grace—
- 66 Good Will Hugging—Grace—
- 67 The First Rule of Fright Club—Hudson—
- 68 I Have Friends in High Places—Grace—
- 69 Color Me Purple—Hudson—
- 70 Way Too Hidden Talents—Hudson—
- 71 Inn-stant Gratification—Grace—
- 72 Gone Wishin’—Grace—
- 73 My Lady in Red—Hudson—
- 74 1D-reams Come True—Grace—
- 75 Café Lotta Say—Hudson—
- 76 The Choux on the Wrong Foot—Grace—
- 77 Ah-Choux—Hudson—
- 78 All LinkedOut—Grace—
- 79 Getting the Red Ribbon Treatment—Hudson—
- 80 Starfalling for You—Hudson—
- 81 All’s Fair in Love and Ring Tosses—Grace—
- 82 Star Light, Star Bright—Grace—
- 83 On Top of the (Other)World—Grace—
- 84 It’s a Knock-Down, Dragon Fight—Hudson—
- 85 Dragon Me Over the Coals—Grace—
- 86 Go Stone or Go Home—Hudson—
- 87 Let Me Change into Something a Little More Stony—Grace—
- 88 Feather or Not, Here I Come!—Grace—
- 89 No One Wants to Catch These Cookies—Grace—
- 90 Sucker Brunch Me—Hudson—
- 91 I Know How to Hold My Drink—Hudson—
- 92 Drinks Are On Me—Grace—
- 93 I’m Spooning Over You—Grace—
- 94 Talk Dirty to Me—Hudson—
- 95 We Roll with the Brunches—Grace—
- 96 No Such Thing as a Free Brunch—Grace—
- 97 Time After Time Dragon—Grace—
- 98 Let’s Talk About the Time Dragon in the Room—Hudson—
- 99 Distrust but Verify—Hudson—
- 100 Whine and Dine—Grace—
- 101 Covering None of the Bases—Grace—
- 102 Between a Rock and a Hard Grace—Grace—
- 103 Passing the Pouspous—Grace—
- 104 How to Rock and Not Roll—Grace—
- 105 A Whole New Meaning to Stone-Faced—Grace—
- 106 Always Look a Gift Mayor in the Mouth—Grace—
- 107 Good Girl Gone Mad as Hell—Hudson—
- 108 I Want You to Want Me—Grace—
- 109 50 Shades of Fangs—Grace—
- 110 Need You Tonight—Grace—
- 111 Amateur Astronomer—Hudson—
- 112 Waiting for the Other Dragon to Drop—Grace—
- 113 One Surprise Deserves Another—Hudson—
- 114 Sending Out Smokey Signals—Grace—
- 115 The Tail End of the Deal—Grace—
- 116 Ripping the Scales—Hudson—
- 117 From Smokey with Love—Hudson—
- 118 It’s a Hack Job but Someone’s Got to Do It—Grace—
- 119 Big Disco Ball Energy—Grace—
- 120 Death on the Dance Floor—Grace—
- 121 This Is How You Skew It—Hudson—
- 122 Love Is a Red-Ribboned Thing—Grace—
- 123 Grin and Grace It—Hudson—
- 124 Now You’re Inn for It—Hudson—
- 125 Kiss My Asset—Grace—
- 126 A Not-So-Tastee Freeze—Grace—
- 127 Statue of Limitations—Grace—
- 128 Here’s Your Horns, What’s Your Hurry?—Grace—
- 129 Gargoyle Girl Gang—Grace—
- 130 A Shot in the Dark—Hudson—
- 131 The Story of Tonight—Grace—
- 132 You Bite It, You Buy It—Hudson—
- 133 Cross My Heart and Promise Not to Fry—Grace—
- 134 The Wheel of Misfortune—Grace—
- 135 BDSM: Bondage, Dragons, Stone, and Magic—Grace—
- 136 It’s Darkest Before the Dawn—Hudson—
- 137 Where the Wild Things Really Are—Grace—
- 138 Buggin’ the F*ck Out—Grace—
- 139 Don’t Trust Her as Far as I Can Throw Her—Hudson—
- 140 It’s Not Even My Third Rodeo—Hudson—
- 141 Is This a Bad Time?—Grace—
- 142 Full of Light,Full of Grace—Hudson—
- 143 What Grace Around Comes Around—Grace—
- 144 Out of the Shadows, Into the Light—Grace—
- 145 It’s All Coming Back to Me Now—Grace—
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
- Sneak Peek: Last of the Talons, by Sophie Kim
- Stealing Infinity, by Alyson Noël
- The Valkyrie’s Daughter, by Tiana Warner
- The Liar’s Crown, by Abigail Owen
- The Gravity of Missing Things, by Marisa Urgo
- Ember of Night, by Molly E. Lee
Turns out, I only need to get to seventy-six before he gives up on the oooooos. I let out the breath I’ve been holding in a long sigh of relief, only to jump about a foot in the air when he follows the loon call with a loud, deep croak that sets every nerve in my body on edge.
Don’t react, I tell myself.
“Crooooooak.”
It will just encourage him if he gets a rise out of you. You know he’s only doing it because he’s bored.
“Crooooooooooooooooooooooooak.”
Don’t react, don’t react, don’t react.
“Croooo”—he’s interrupted from his warble by a cough, and I think that’s the end of it. But nope, he’s committed, because the second he’s able, he goes right back to it. “Crooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooak.”
“Okay, I get it. Jesus! You don’t have to pretend a bird sounds like a damn frog just to annoy me—”
“I’m not pretending anything,” he answers, sounding highly affronted. “That is the song of the South American toucan—”
“You’re just making shit up now,” I tell him. “No bird sounds like the cross between a dying frog and a pissed-off pig.”
“The toucan does,” he answers, and again he looks so innocent that it’s hard to believe he’s fucking with me. But I’ve been trapped in this hellhole with him for way too long, and I am well aware that he’s just trying to piss me off. Even before he continues. “I know it’s an acquired taste, but some ornithologists think it’s the most beautiful call of all birds—”
“Bullshit!” I explode. “I have put up with the kookaburra and the loon. But there is no way I am putting up with some fake-ass toucan snort—”
“Not fake,” he interjects.
“Fake, not fake. I don’t give a shit. Knock it off with the birdcalls.”
“Okay.”
“That’s it?” I ask suspiciously. “Just okay?”
“Sure, if it bothers you that much—” He shrugs and smiles sweetly.
Wondering if maybe we’re calling a truce after eight weeks of open warfare, I smile back. Then pick up my Dr Pepper to take a drink as I turn back to the stove.
“Crooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooak!” Hudson howls at the top of his lungs.
I choke on my drink, spew Dr Pepper everywhere, and spend the next two minutes coughing soda out of my lungs.
Fuck my life. And fuck Hudson Vega.
27 De-Briefing—Hudson—
27
De-Briefing
—Hudson—
“Do you have to take forever in the shower?” Grace snarls as I walk out of the bathroom.
I give her a deliberately mild look. “Someone certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
“I got up in a fine mood, thank you very much.” She moves past me with a glare. “But I’ve been waiting to pee for an hour now.”