Chapters (155)
- Copyright
- Dedication
- 1 Nearly Gutless Grace—Grace—
- 2 Head Space, Talk Space, Give Me Some Space—Grace—
- 3 I Do Like a Good Cup of Hurl Grey—Grace—
- 4 Every Little Thing He Does Is Not Magic—Grace—
- 5 Hot and Not So Heavy—Hudson—
- 6 In One Head and Out the Other—Grace—
- 7 Burning Down the Louse—Hudson—
- 8 Eat, Drink, and Be Wary—Grace—
- 9 From One Blink to the Necks—Grace—
- 10 Burning Your Britches—Hudson—
- 11 Sleep Like the Undead—Grace—
- 12 Grace on a Platter—Grace—
- 13 My Life Is an Open Phone—Grace—
- 14 Diary of a Vampire Kid—Grace—
- 15 The Best Defense Is More Defense—Hudson—
- 16 No Vamp Is an Island—Grace—
- 17 This Is How My Cookie Crumbles—Grace—
- 18 Trying to Lair Low—Hudson—
- 19 Put a String on It—Hudson—
- 20 All the Sizzle, None of the Heart—Hudson—
- 21 I’m Not RSVPing for This Pity Party—Grace—
- 22 All Cry, No Punishment—Grace—
- 23 Welcome to My Jungle—Hudson—
- 24 Dividing the Room in Styles—Grace—
- 25 I Mo, You Mo, We All Emo—Grace—
- 26 Re-Tweeting—Grace—
- 27 De-Briefing—Hudson—
- 28 It Dunks to Be Me—Grace—
- 29 How Do You Say Good-Pie?—Hudson—
- 30 Uneasy as Pie—Hudson—
- 31 Stalks and Bonds—Grace—
- 32 Some Bonds Can’t Be Unbroken—Grace—
- 33 Fake It or You Don’t Make It—Grace—
- 34 I Read You All Wrong—Grace—
- 35 Running Down a Nightmare—Grace—
- 36 Please Don’t Start the Fire—Grace—
- 37 You’re Dragon Me Down—Grace—
- 38 Waking Dawn—Hudson—
- 39 Keep Calm and Don’t Carry On—Hudson—
- 40 Don’t Farm It In—Grace—
- 41 Crop Till You Drop—Grace—
- 42 She’s Giving Me the Smokey Eye—Grace—
- 43 One Direction Is Not Just a Band—Hudson—
- 44 I Can Dish It Out If You Can Make It—Hudson—
- 45 Don’t Let the Bedvamps Bite—Hudson—
- 46 I Like to Sleep Tight, But Not This Tight—Grace—
- 47 You Really Stuck My Landing—Grace—
- 48 No Farm, No Foul—Grace—
- 49 Re-Veg Is Sweet—Hudson—
- 50 I’m Oh So Swan-Yay—Grace—
- 51 A Not So Savage Garden—Grace—
- 52 There Has to Be an Udder Way—Grace—
- 53 Suck It Up, Buttercup—Grace—
- 54 He’s Got Hangry Eyes—Hudson—
- 55 Afraid of My Own Shadow Queen—Hudson—
- 56 Baby Got Piggyback—Grace—
- 57 Cliffs Notes Got Nothing on Me—Hudson—
- 58 I Cave It My All—Grace—
- 59 I Know a Prick When I Smell One—Grace—
- 60 Tastes Like Teen Spirit—Hudson—
- 61 Carpe Drink-Em—Grace—
- 62 Dimples and Curls—Grace—
- 63 Tic-Tac-Toe and No Chill—Grace—
- 64 If I Could F(lie)—Hudson—
- 65 Live and Let’s Run—Grace—
- 66 Good Will Hugging—Grace—
- 67 The First Rule of Fright Club—Hudson—
- 68 I Have Friends in High Places—Grace—
- 69 Color Me Purple—Hudson—
- 70 Way Too Hidden Talents—Hudson—
- 71 Inn-stant Gratification—Grace—
- 72 Gone Wishin’—Grace—
- 73 My Lady in Red—Hudson—
- 74 1D-reams Come True—Grace—
- 75 Café Lotta Say—Hudson—
- 76 The Choux on the Wrong Foot—Grace—
- 77 Ah-Choux—Hudson—
- 78 All LinkedOut—Grace—
- 79 Getting the Red Ribbon Treatment—Hudson—
- 80 Starfalling for You—Hudson—
- 81 All’s Fair in Love and Ring Tosses—Grace—
- 82 Star Light, Star Bright—Grace—
- 83 On Top of the (Other)World—Grace—
- 84 It’s a Knock-Down, Dragon Fight—Hudson—
- 85 Dragon Me Over the Coals—Grace—
- 86 Go Stone or Go Home—Hudson—
- 87 Let Me Change into Something a Little More Stony—Grace—
- 88 Feather or Not, Here I Come!—Grace—
- 89 No One Wants to Catch These Cookies—Grace—
- 90 Sucker Brunch Me—Hudson—
- 91 I Know How to Hold My Drink—Hudson—
- 92 Drinks Are On Me—Grace—
- 93 I’m Spooning Over You—Grace—
- 94 Talk Dirty to Me—Hudson—
- 95 We Roll with the Brunches—Grace—
- 96 No Such Thing as a Free Brunch—Grace—
- 97 Time After Time Dragon—Grace—
- 98 Let’s Talk About the Time Dragon in the Room—Hudson—
- 99 Distrust but Verify—Hudson—
- 100 Whine and Dine—Grace—
- 101 Covering None of the Bases—Grace—
- 102 Between a Rock and a Hard Grace—Grace—
- 103 Passing the Pouspous—Grace—
- 104 How to Rock and Not Roll—Grace—
- 105 A Whole New Meaning to Stone-Faced—Grace—
- 106 Always Look a Gift Mayor in the Mouth—Grace—
- 107 Good Girl Gone Mad as Hell—Hudson—
- 108 I Want You to Want Me—Grace—
- 109 50 Shades of Fangs—Grace—
- 110 Need You Tonight—Grace—
- 111 Amateur Astronomer—Hudson—
- 112 Waiting for the Other Dragon to Drop—Grace—
- 113 One Surprise Deserves Another—Hudson—
- 114 Sending Out Smokey Signals—Grace—
- 115 The Tail End of the Deal—Grace—
- 116 Ripping the Scales—Hudson—
- 117 From Smokey with Love—Hudson—
- 118 It’s a Hack Job but Someone’s Got to Do It—Grace—
- 119 Big Disco Ball Energy—Grace—
- 120 Death on the Dance Floor—Grace—
- 121 This Is How You Skew It—Hudson—
- 122 Love Is a Red-Ribboned Thing—Grace—
- 123 Grin and Grace It—Hudson—
- 124 Now You’re Inn for It—Hudson—
- 125 Kiss My Asset—Grace—
- 126 A Not-So-Tastee Freeze—Grace—
- 127 Statue of Limitations—Grace—
- 128 Here’s Your Horns, What’s Your Hurry?—Grace—
- 129 Gargoyle Girl Gang—Grace—
- 130 A Shot in the Dark—Hudson—
- 131 The Story of Tonight—Grace—
- 132 You Bite It, You Buy It—Hudson—
- 133 Cross My Heart and Promise Not to Fry—Grace—
- 134 The Wheel of Misfortune—Grace—
- 135 BDSM: Bondage, Dragons, Stone, and Magic—Grace—
- 136 It’s Darkest Before the Dawn—Hudson—
- 137 Where the Wild Things Really Are—Grace—
- 138 Buggin’ the F*ck Out—Grace—
- 139 Don’t Trust Her as Far as I Can Throw Her—Hudson—
- 140 It’s Not Even My Third Rodeo—Hudson—
- 141 Is This a Bad Time?—Grace—
- 142 Full of Light,Full of Grace—Hudson—
- 143 What Grace Around Comes Around—Grace—
- 144 Out of the Shadows, Into the Light—Grace—
- 145 It’s All Coming Back to Me Now—Grace—
- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
- Sneak Peek: Last of the Talons, by Sophie Kim
- Stealing Infinity, by Alyson Noël
- The Valkyrie’s Daughter, by Tiana Warner
- The Liar’s Crown, by Abigail Owen
- The Gravity of Missing Things, by Marisa Urgo
- Ember of Night, by Molly E. Lee
The only thing missing is the Bee Gees singing “How Deep Is Your Love.” Then again, I think Souil might be auditioning for the role as the fourth Bee Gee as we speak. He’s definitely got the hip motions down—now all he needs is a little of that cross-body pointing action, and he’ll be good to go.
“Are those spiked…disco balls?” Hudson whispers in horror.
“I’m pretty sure they are, yeah,” I answer. Because what else is there to say at this point? If the Beatles’ yellow submarine started floating down Main Street, I wouldn’t be surprised.
But even though Souil looks ridiculous, there’s something really creepy about his fixation with the seventies that makes me wonder… Does he have the ability to bend time? Can he skip between the past and the future whenever he wants? And if he can, is there anything he can’t do? Anything he can’t use in the middle of a fight? Any trap he won’t be able to weasel out of?
I shake my head. No, that can’t be right. If he could do that, surely others would have noticed, said something. My shoulders start to relax. Maybe this isn’t as bad as it looks.
“Well, that’s something you don’t see every day,” Orebon comments as he comes up behind us.
“Or ever,” Caoimhe adds. “Thankfully.”
“Come on, Hudson!” Souil calls from his spot across the square. “You were so brave before. Don’t you want to get down tonight?”
“Is anyone else seeing this?” Lumi asks, shaking his head like he wants to clear it. “Or did I get hit so hard, I’m hallucinating?”
I can see why he thinks that could be the case. Because who would ever, ever imagine that this is an actual thing? That the seventies-obsessed mayor of the largest town in the Shadow Realm would swing disco balls around like a weapon, all while dressed like a damn Elvis impersonator?
The fact that this isn’t even the weirdest thing we’ve seen in this realm says it all. As does the fact that it’s not even the weirdest thing we’ve seen from him.
“Nope,” Caoimhe tells him. “We’re all seeing those great big glittery balls.”
Lumi sighs. “I was afraid of that.” But he doesn’t say anything more.
And yeah, I get that it’s weird as fuck, but it’s not awful—as in we’re-all-going-to-die bad. Maybe the dragon energy just powered up the mayor so he could possibly visit another time period. Maybe discover leg warmers and off-the-shoulder Flashdance apparel next. That certainly wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to this Evel Knievel reject.
But then the mayor throws his head back and laughs, the kind of laugh that causes shivers to race down your spine. “I have waited a thousand years for this moment, my dear. So thank you.”