Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
He shrugged: ‘I thought you would turn up with Jack. I expect you did, but I wasn’t going to hang around with her being dead.’
‘And Sunningdale? Why?’
He lights a cigarette and shakes his head. ‘You know why.’
‘No, I don’t know why you would do that. I actually have no idea.’
‘Because you took Jack.’ He blows the smoke out slowly. ‘You pissed me off, so I thought I’d piss you off.’
I feel I could lose it. Properly lose my mind. I see their faces: Gladys Silsbury; Rose Nuttel; Maureen Squires. Dead. Killed by him. ‘You were in the crowds that night, weren’t you? You were watching me as the place burned?’ How my voice sounds so even, I will never know.
He reaches around and locates a saucer. He flicks his ash neatly into it. I should’ve guessed when I saw his flat that there was a particular reason for the mess – of course there was a puppy. My son has always been meticulous with his things.
‘When I saw your face, mother dearest, it was worth it.’
At his confirmation, I realise I can’t give up on Jack upstairs – I have to try to get him away from this man. I press my feet against the floor to steady myself. I have to focus on saving my grandson. This is a dangerous situation and I need to be clever about it. ‘Thank you for telling me. And about Nana too.’ I’m satisfied with how calm I sound. It gives me the strength to continue. ‘She would be glad you’ve been honest with me. I think I will have that drink, now, please,’ I say, buying for time. I drink my water and substitute it for a double of whisky. I wonder where he put my phone. ‘Top-up?’ I ask him, holding the bottle up. I want him to see I’m shaking – he always liked it when I was scared and I know it’ll put him at ease.
His mouth flickers with a rare smile, says, ‘Lisa, you always crack me up,’ but he drains his glass and holds it out for me to fill.
I know I shouldn’t be drinking with him, but I don’t care. Yes, I need to buy time to plan what I’m going to do next, but it’s more than that. Deep in my marrow I think I might not see him again after tonight. Something in the way it has all come together makes me feel this wildness, this craziness, cannot continue.