Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
I shrugged, feigning nonchalance. ‘Jack’s three now and I thought I should use my training before it gets so old they don’t let me,’ I said, parroting my mother. I smiled at the thought – she really had done her job without even trying to. ‘In fact, before I start back, I’m going to do a short refresher course to bring me up to date.’
‘Well . . . that’s just fantastic!’ Then his eyes narrowed a little with suspicion. ‘And that’s it? Don’t think I’m not overjoyed, it’s just I’ve pointed that out to you in the past and you’ve always said you didn’t care.’
‘It’s for Jack too,’ I said. I watched him drunkenly lift his mug. No wonder he hadn’t wanted the car – he’d got tanked at the golf club. ‘Obviously, Jack will be starting school soon. I still think it was great for him to spend his early years with me, but I can see it’s just as important to prepare him for the next stage.’ I smiled, as if the answer was obvious: ‘So I am!’
‘Well . . . good.’ The booze was addling his thinking, but he was catching up. ‘I agree. It’ll be good for him. Mum will be pleased too – she told me she wants a break.’
‘Oh! Do you think she could carry on for a bit longer? I don’t want to sound mercenary but we’ll have to start paying out for four days’ childcare and although I won’t be working full-time, we need the childcare so I can say yes if I get offered work. Paying for five days might tip the balance of making it financially viable.’ I took his hand. ‘Honey, if she could keep going, just while we get him over this transition period, that’d be perfect.’
‘I’ll talk to her.’ He looked down and rubbed Winston’s velvet muzzle. ‘But what about Winston?’
I looked at our lovely dog and realised I’ve been so focused on Jack and the logistics of getting back into work, I’d overlooked him. ‘Maybe Irene?’ I put the kettle on and offered more tea to buy thinking time; Nick could never drink enough of the stuff. ‘Really, it wouldn’t be that often. The course is full-time, but when I’m working, there’ll be days during the week I won’t be and you’re often off during the week, so I suppose we’re only talking a couple of days a week.’
‘She loves Winston!’ He got up from the kitchen table and actually hugged me – for a moment I stood in his arms, and then I reached up and hugged him back. I shut my eyes and exhaled. It felt so long since he’d done that, it felt strange, mechanical, almost like we were acting.