Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
For the first time I see a shadow of doubt cross Nick’s features. He was always confident with me, but less confident in his decision-making. He changed though as he matured, I suppose it was what helped him progress in his career. I don’t like to think about how maybe both things happened when he was no longer around Jack and me.
‘The fire started in the laundry room.’
‘I know that, Nick. I kept in touch with work. My colleague sent me the fire report. An accelerant was used. The window was left open and it was poured through.’
‘That could’ve been by anyone.’
‘Or our son.’
‘I know through work that the owner of the nursing home was dodgy. They’d overextended themselves, setting up home after home after home. They had big debts. It could’ve been connected to that. Or something else entirely. No one even looked at Jack for the arson – why would they? It’s not always about you, Lisa.’
‘Someone did it. And you don’t know that he didn’t.’
He presses his temples with this fingertips. ‘But we don’t know . . . and we have to be cautious.’
I think of Mungo and Selena and feel panic. ‘So what’s all this leading to? Telling me I’m wrong about everything. Sitting here, laying out evidence after evidence, that I’m terrible and what, our son is just a victim of me? Because of my childhood, I’m just delusional about my mother, the fire, the dog, I get what you’re saying. I don’t believe it, but what I want to know, is what’s next? You said you wouldn’t take sides, yet you clearly are. You say that Jack is going with his father tomorrow and I’m just going to wait it out in my own home, tucked up like a guest on the sofa. So what’s this leading up to?’ I feel a jellyfish whip of anger. ‘Let’s have it now, Nick. You’ve done your copper thing. Broken down my alibi, so let’s just get to the point now, shall we.
‘What’s the message you’re delivering?’
He spreads his hands out against the wooden knots and whorls of the table. He stares at them as if they are going to save him from something. ‘Lisa, in the morning it will be time to say goodbye to Jack. I’m sorry. They are both going to leave. Jack doesn’t want you to know where. He’s taking little Jack with him and he doesn’t want you to see little Jack ever again. I’m sorry. I realise this is hard. I can’t do anything about it – I want you to know that I did speak up for you. But ultimately, I’m here to make sure there’s no ugliness in front of the child. That wouldn’t be good for anyone.’