Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
I study Nick properly for the first time, ignoring the thwang-thwang in my feet and wrists and head, ignoring the need for another dose of something that I’m not prepared to take in front of him, and am surprised at just how different he looks. I haven’t seen him for the best part of two years. In that time, he’s changed and now looks noticeably older. Not bad old – good old, really – but his eyelids have grown heavy and white now graces his beard.
‘Lisa, I do want you to go up, but only when you’ve tidied yourself up enough to look half-reasonable – and after we have a chat.’
I don’t like the way he says this. ‘Look at what he’s done to me!’ I’m not talking about the beautiful boy upstairs now, but Nick knows this.
He stares at me. I thought he wasn’t going to speak, but in the end, he does. ‘Our Jack says you did that to yourself.’
I’m confused. My head thwangs again, heavier now. ‘What?’ I can hear my own incredulity. ‘How could I do this to myself?’
‘Well, I suppose all of the mud and scratches and your feet – you need to tell me why you’ve been outside without your shoes, by the way – is because you’ve been wandering around the countryside in the dark. Now look,’ he says, no doubt seeing my rising fury, ‘I’m not an idiot. I know what our son is like. I’m under no illusions that he’s a saint, please be clear on that right now. We’ll thrash all of this out together – I’m here for little Jack only, not to take sides – but it’s better you know what our Jack is saying before you two meet. So,’ he holds his hands up, ‘don’t bite my head off, but what he says is, is that you attacked him.’
I have no words.
‘He says that when he turned up and asked for Little Jack, you attacked him with a rolling pin.’
‘Unbelievable.’ I reach for the bottle myself. ‘Lies – as usual. He tied me up, you know.’
‘I know.’ He puts something on the table. I’m not looking at it, instead I keep on staring at Nick’s face. For some reason I don’t want to look on the table, I don’t want to see what it is.
‘He said he didn’t know what else to do to stop you from raging. He wanted to keep you in one place until I got here. Believe it or not, I only live an hour from here. Sometimes I go shopping in Hereford. Can you imagine? We could have bumped into each other.’
I feel like saying something sarcastic, but I don’t. Instead I just stare at him, willing for him to continue.