Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
Then after I lost it with Nick and beat him with the broom handle, and the neighbours knocked on the door and threatened to call the police, and I apologised to Nick, and Nick apologised to Jack for hitting him, and I cleaned up Jack’s split lip, we then sent him to his room.
Nick couldn’t understand this: ‘The dog is dead and you were in bed?’
‘Because of this,’ I said and showed him the letter.
He read it. ‘Shit, Lisa,’ was all he said. He sank to the bed next to me, rereading the letter, whilst I sat crying, head in hands.
It had been a horrible shock. Biting cheeks and snipping earlobes was one thing – but killing was new. Now Nick was hitting Jack and I was beating Nick. It had all gone so very toxic.
Eventually, he put down the letter and started to pace up and down our room – which was ridiculous given that the room wasn’t very big. I couldn’t bear to look at him. He loved that dog. We both did.
Losing Winston just killed us.
‘So tell me again what happened after I left for work this morning?’
My hands flung up in despair: ‘This isn’t some police interview, Nick! I’m not the guilty one here.’
‘Aren’t you?’ he raged. ‘Are you sure about that? Because something has gone wrong – badly wrong. I told you yesterday he needed locking up.’
‘Don’t mention that secure place again – look what happened because of that! He heard you say that and that’s why he killed Winston!’
Nick stared at me, only then comprehending what I’d understood straightaway. There was a clear sequential line running through this, starting with Irene’s bitten cheek.
‘We can’t go back to how it was now, you realise that, don’t you? That thought has occurred in your spongy, drug-addled brain?’
He’d never called out my drug abuse before. ‘Don’t be rude!’ I cried. ‘Just don’t be rude to me!’
‘Why not, Lisa? You were at home. It was on your watch. If someone got clubbed to death in the next-door room to me at work, I think my boss would want to know what I’d been doing whilst it’d been going on.’ His voice dropped to a new, flinty tone that I hadn’t heard before: ‘My boss might sack me if I was asleep on the job.’
My head jerked in a way that I suspected gave me away. My shame made me angry: ‘You’re only getting at me because you were the one who said you wanted Jack sent away. This was a revenge attack against you. And, for the record, you’re not my boss.’