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Back What I Did Save as PDF
Chapters (87)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. Twelve
  16. Thirteen
  17. Fourteen
  18. Fifteen
  19. Sixteen
  20. Seventeen
  21. Eighteen
  22. Nineteen
  23. Twenty
  24. Twenty-One
  25. Twenty-Two
  26. Twenty-Three
  27. Twenty-Four
  28. Twenty-Five
  29. Twenty-Six
  30. Twenty-Seven
  31. Twenty-Eight
  32. Twenty-Nine
  33. Thirty
  34. Thirty-One
  35. Thirty-Two
  36. Thirty-Three
  37. Thirty-Four
  38. Thirty-Five
  39. Thirty-Six
  40. Thirty-Seven
  41. Thirty-Eight
  42. Thirty-Nine
  43. Forty
  44. Forty-One
  45. Forty-Two
  46. Forty-Three
  47. Forty-Four
  48. Forty-Five
  49. Forty-Six
  50. Forty-Seven
  51. Forty-Eight
  52. Forty-Nine
  53. Fifty
  54. Fifty-One
  55. Fifty-Two
  56. Fifty-Three
  57. Fifty-Four
  58. Fifty-Five
  59. Fifty-Six
  60. Fifty-Seven
  61. Fifty-Eight
  62. Fifty-Nine
  63. Sixty
  64. Sixty-One
  65. Sixty-Two
  66. Sixty-Three
  67. Sixty-Four
  68. Sixty-Five
  69. Sixty-Six
  70. Sixty-Seven
  71. Sixty-Eight
  72. Sixty-Nine
  73. Seventy
  74. Seventy-One
  75. Seventy-Two
  76. Seventy-Three
  77. Seventy-Four
  78. Seventy-Five
  79. Seventy-Six
  80. Seventy-Seven
  81. Seventy-Eight
  82. Seventy-Nine
  83. Eighty
  84. Epilogue
  85. Acknowledgements
  86. Extract from To Keep You Safe
  87. About the Author

It came to a point when I decided that I had to go up to the school and find out what was making my son so miserable. It was either change whatever it was or change his school. He wouldn’t let me – he told me I was only a nurse so not posh enough and I’d embarrass him – but I persisted. When I picked up the phone to make an appointment with the school, he physically attacked me, taking the handset out of my hand and wrapping the cord around my neck. He was out of control, yes, but I detected something else, some deeper shame or fear or desperation, so reluctantly, it was one of the times I got Nick involved.

Nick – to his credit – drove straight down from Gloucestershire and the two of them went off somewhere and although I was nervous, they both came back in a good mood. Jack gave me a bunch of flowers and Nick stood there while Jack apologised. Nick then said that, if it was all right with me, Jack would like to leave his private school and apply to go to the nearest comp that would have him. I was surprised, but I also knew Nick well enough to hear the rivets in his voice, meaning that his request was just a show of decency – the decision had already been made and Nick was really asking if I’d respect that. Jack would be leaving with immediate effect.

Nick took leave from his job, checked into a hotel and stayed for the week it took to get it sorted out. By the time he left, Jack was going out the door in a new uniform.

I never found out what had gone on. Fear of what might’ve happened actually made me ill and so I begged Jack to tell me, but he wouldn’t. Nick wouldn’t tell me either, until I’d threatened to go to the school. He said he’d promised not to, but after a particularly tearful phone call, he relented and said he promised that Jack hadn’t been expelled for the third time, but it was still an urgent situation to get him out. What did that mean? I pressed. Nick said that he had virtually no relationship with his son, so couldn’t I just let them have this? So I never found out what had happened and instead put my mind to supporting Jack in the best way I could.