Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
At first, I think he’s talking about me. All my physical hurts start singing a cacophony of pain, as if trying to be heard over this new, savage stomach pain. I think a lower rib might’ve been cracked, but Nick is so angry, I can’t help but play it down. ‘It’s not too bad –’
But Nick has left me and has crossed the floor and our son is rising out of his chair to meet the fury of his dad.
‘Please, Nick, don’t worry about it, it’s fine! I just want you to keep your voice down – please don’t wake Jack.’ And suddenly, I’m back twenty years, reliving our lives all over again. And just like before, no one pays attention to me.
‘What’s your problem?’ sneers our son, now several inches taller than his father.
Nick stands there, just looking at him. He’s red in the face and I remember Nick’s temper: slow to rouse but then slow to dissipate again. What’s happened? I must have asked this question because Nick turns to me. ‘You tried to tell me he was the same. I didn’t want to believe you, Lisa. I wanted to think it was you,’ he says, his voice filled with his fire. ‘But it wasn’t, was it, because you were right all along. It was because of him. Him!’
Now he turns to our son.
‘You tricked me. You attacked your mother as soon as you could; I thought you’d grown out of that crap, but shame on you, you’re a grown man and you’re still not grown up. You stole police property out of my car boot. You’ve shredded all four of my car tires and you set me up, you little fucker!’ His finger is in his son’s face. ‘That’s police property. That’s a massive show of disrespect, my friend. Massive error – massive. You’ve not changed at all. You’re just the same, I can see that now. Nicking my car keys, to steal my stuff. You’re a thief. I could have you cuffed. In fact, I should. That would change your plans, wouldn’t it?’
Very slowly, very deliberately, Jack blows his cigarette smoke into Nick’s face before saying: ‘Just you try.’
Nick flushes a deeper red like a warning light – since he gave up, he’s always hated smoking – and then his face drops to white: the true sign of danger.
‘Please, please!’ I flap, jumping between them. I’m not sure what’s happened, but I don’t want them to wake Jack. Being frightened, listening to adults argue, was the childhood I had.
‘Why’ve you got a stinger anyway?’ he sneers at his father. The butt of his cigarette glows fire and I’m worried he’ll stub it out on Nick’s face. ‘You’re not a traffic cop.’