Chapters (87)
- Cover
- Praise
- Dedication
- One
- Two
- Three
- Four
- Five
- Six
- Seven
- Eight
- Nine
- Ten
- Eleven
- Twelve
- Thirteen
- Fourteen
- Fifteen
- Sixteen
- Seventeen
- Eighteen
- Nineteen
- Twenty
- Twenty-One
- Twenty-Two
- Twenty-Three
- Twenty-Four
- Twenty-Five
- Twenty-Six
- Twenty-Seven
- Twenty-Eight
- Twenty-Nine
- Thirty
- Thirty-One
- Thirty-Two
- Thirty-Three
- Thirty-Four
- Thirty-Five
- Thirty-Six
- Thirty-Seven
- Thirty-Eight
- Thirty-Nine
- Forty
- Forty-One
- Forty-Two
- Forty-Three
- Forty-Four
- Forty-Five
- Forty-Six
- Forty-Seven
- Forty-Eight
- Forty-Nine
- Fifty
- Fifty-One
- Fifty-Two
- Fifty-Three
- Fifty-Four
- Fifty-Five
- Fifty-Six
- Fifty-Seven
- Fifty-Eight
- Fifty-Nine
- Sixty
- Sixty-One
- Sixty-Two
- Sixty-Three
- Sixty-Four
- Sixty-Five
- Sixty-Six
- Sixty-Seven
- Sixty-Eight
- Sixty-Nine
- Seventy
- Seventy-One
- Seventy-Two
- Seventy-Three
- Seventy-Four
- Seventy-Five
- Seventy-Six
- Seventy-Seven
- Seventy-Eight
- Seventy-Nine
- Eighty
- Epilogue
- Acknowledgements
- Extract from To Keep You Safe
- About the Author
‘Because of her neighbour for a start! April Dale was clear that she thought someone had broken in . . .’ Was she? Even as I say it, I’m rethinking the scene.
She didn’t say that.
Nick speaks at my silence. ‘Mrs Dale told me that your mother had come round in the morning needing milk. She hadn’t brought anything to pour it into, so Mrs Dale offered to tip some into a mug for her. She said your mum was flustered and pale, and just wanted to borrow the whole thing and said she’d bring it straight back—’
‘Flustered because he was there!’
‘Or because her heart was already in trouble. Your mum didn’t come back. Mrs Dale got caught up in a long phone conversation and afterwards she wanted a cup of tea herself and so Mrs Dale went to retrieve her milk and that’s when she found your mother dead on her bed.’
Nick just looks at me, waiting for some reaction, or perhaps is just being kind and giving me time to process it. ‘Lisa, Mrs Dale said that when she found you mum’s body, she came out into the hall. She was about to ring for an ambulance, when she saw you standing by the door, so she let you in first. The rest you know.’
He sits back as if satisfied with this version of events. But this can’t be right – it can’t be. ‘She gave me the cash my mum kept for emergencies.’
‘Yes. She was flustered and told me it felt wrong to keep it in her flat with your mum being gone. But it wasn’t a statement of not expecting to see you again: she was confused when you weren’t at the funeral,’ he says. ‘She asked me and Jack as—’
‘He went to my mother’s funeral?’
‘Of course. It was his grandmother’s funeral – why wouldn’t he?’
The pain is terrible – he was there and I wasn’t. I’m so confused. I shut my eyes briefly and try to remember what happened. He was there, I know he was there, at my mother’s. I just need facts to convince Nick.
To stay convinced myself.
No. No. I am convinced.
‘I couldn’t tell her why you weren’t there – we knew you’d run with Jack but we thought it was just for a few days. We thought you’d been overcome with grief but would be back for the funeral. We phoned you, texted you; it all went to your voicemail. And don’t think I didn’t tried to trace you: I know you binned your phone. You went off-grid.’ He lets go of me and sits next to me and takes the knife out of my hand. I let him. ‘We were both very upset.’
‘You and Mrs Dale?’