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Back What I Did Save as PDF
Chapters (87)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. One
  5. Two
  6. Three
  7. Four
  8. Five
  9. Six
  10. Seven
  11. Eight
  12. Nine
  13. Ten
  14. Eleven
  15. Twelve
  16. Thirteen
  17. Fourteen
  18. Fifteen
  19. Sixteen
  20. Seventeen
  21. Eighteen
  22. Nineteen
  23. Twenty
  24. Twenty-One
  25. Twenty-Two
  26. Twenty-Three
  27. Twenty-Four
  28. Twenty-Five
  29. Twenty-Six
  30. Twenty-Seven
  31. Twenty-Eight
  32. Twenty-Nine
  33. Thirty
  34. Thirty-One
  35. Thirty-Two
  36. Thirty-Three
  37. Thirty-Four
  38. Thirty-Five
  39. Thirty-Six
  40. Thirty-Seven
  41. Thirty-Eight
  42. Thirty-Nine
  43. Forty
  44. Forty-One
  45. Forty-Two
  46. Forty-Three
  47. Forty-Four
  48. Forty-Five
  49. Forty-Six
  50. Forty-Seven
  51. Forty-Eight
  52. Forty-Nine
  53. Fifty
  54. Fifty-One
  55. Fifty-Two
  56. Fifty-Three
  57. Fifty-Four
  58. Fifty-Five
  59. Fifty-Six
  60. Fifty-Seven
  61. Fifty-Eight
  62. Fifty-Nine
  63. Sixty
  64. Sixty-One
  65. Sixty-Two
  66. Sixty-Three
  67. Sixty-Four
  68. Sixty-Five
  69. Sixty-Six
  70. Sixty-Seven
  71. Sixty-Eight
  72. Sixty-Nine
  73. Seventy
  74. Seventy-One
  75. Seventy-Two
  76. Seventy-Three
  77. Seventy-Four
  78. Seventy-Five
  79. Seventy-Six
  80. Seventy-Seven
  81. Seventy-Eight
  82. Seventy-Nine
  83. Eighty
  84. Epilogue
  85. Acknowledgements
  86. Extract from To Keep You Safe
  87. About the Author

She started crying again. I held her for a moment and then gently but firmly pulled her back so I could see her. ‘Where was the fire? How did it start?’

‘I don’t know!’ Her anguish was clear. ‘The control panel said it was in the utility; we ran to it and I know you shouldn’t open fire doors, but we peeped inside and the flames were at the ceiling! I’ve never seen anything like it!’

Was this a coincidence? Had I infuriated my son by taking his, and now this was revenge?

No. He might be angry, but this was too much. A dog killer did not maketh a murderer of the elderly.

Shame on me for even thinking the two things were connected.

I stared at the fire, the warmth sickeningly warming my skin. But despite my stance, I felt a screaming unease. The fire was so large; I was no expert, but I knew the home had a good fire alarm, good procedures. For it to get so bad, so soon, it seemed very possible an accelerant had been used. My face baked, both from the heat of the fire and the flush of possibly. I knew the utility room on the ground floor had a window that was often left open. I nagged and nagged the night staff to remember to close it in the evening, but I suspected it still got overlooked sometimes. The washing was hung in there; that and the dryers meant that it was always hot and humid, so the window was constantly left ajar and forgotten.

I searched through the faces in the crowds and amongst the shadows for my son. Could my fears be real? Was he standing here too, watching my darling residents, my passion, my career, my livelihood, burn?

My hand pressed against the roof of my car; perhaps he’d brought me here hoping that I’d leave Jack unattended for a moment, perhaps this was his way of drawing me close so he could snatch Jack back.

Perhaps he just wanted to see me suffer. You set fire to my world; now I’ll set fire to yours.

But if that was true, if he was here, wherever he was, he’d hidden himself well. I gave up, my own brain on fire and turned back to the blazing building.

Miriam was still staring, horrified, and we viewed the death of the happy home together. The scale of the blaze, the immobility of our residents and the time of night, only really meant one thing. I felt desperate, wondering if I had caused this. ‘Perhaps there’s more news. Perhaps we should ask someone.’