Back Killer T Save as PDF
Chapters (83)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
  4. PART ONE
  5. 1 SLASHED RUBBER
  6. 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
  7. 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
  8. 4 SOFIA SILVER
  9. 5 DEL TACO
  10. 6 RAINBOW ROAD
  11. 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
  12. 8 CHEESY BALLS
  13. 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
  14. 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
  15. 11 GOON SQUAD
  16. 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
  17. PART TWO
  18. 13 SNor
  19. 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
  20. 15 BEEF AND COKE
  21. 16 CHEF CHANNING
  22. 17 MAD BOMBER
  23. 18 BLOODSHOT
  24. 19 MANSPLAINING
  25. 20 NAPALM DROPS
  26. 21 BETSY & MEL
  27. 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
  28. 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
  29. 24 HOT OR NOT
  30. 25 JUICE JET
  31. 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
  32. 27 SEXY TOAST
  33. 28 COLGATE CHEST
  34. 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
  35. 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
  36. 31 D IN MATH
  37. 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
  38. 33 EARLY BIRD
  39. 34 PATIENT Q
  40. 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
  41. 36 SAMURAI COP II
  42. 37 DIRTY SHAKE
  43. PART THREE
  44. 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
  45. 39 BREAKING BAD
  46. 40 LOVE SHACK
  47. 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
  48. 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
  49. 43 KILLER-T
  50. 44 SPOILED BRATS
  51. 45 BACK TAXIS
  52. 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
  53. 47 TEAM MANGO
  54. 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
  55. 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
  56. 50 HAVING WORDS
  57. 51 BOUNCING BOYS
  58. 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
  59. 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
  60. 54 IGNITION
  61. 55 BUST
  62. PART FOUR
  63. 56 DEAD BUGS
  64. 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
  65. 58 PEER PRESSURE
  66. 59 GREEN FINGERS
  67. 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
  68. 61 WHIPPED CREAM
  69. 62 LIVING HIGH
  70. 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
  71. 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
  72. 65 BUBBLEGUM
  73. 66 BIG ONION
  74. 67 FAMILY REUNION
  75. 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
  76. PART FIVE
  77. 69 STONE DEAD
  78. 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
  79. 71 THE ACCOUNTS
  80. 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
  81. 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
  82. PART SIX
  83. 74 HARRY II

‘That would be so great,’ Charlie said. ‘My lawyer said it’s much better to wait a few weeks before filing paperwork. Adoption is tricky, but if a kid is settled and happy, and nobody else wants him, there’s virtually zero chance they’ll take him away.’

Rosie started slicing the cake and Harry felt like he belonged as he surveyed the scene. Vern cross-legged, Ed scoffing cake like a typical hungry teenager, Patrick insisting on dunking his cake in a glass of milk and making everyone laugh when he inevitably dropped a big bit in it. And Charlie, standing bare-legged by the fridge, making a pot of tea. Sweaty and tired from a shift in the lab, but still the most beautiful thing Harry had ever seen.

66 BIG ONION

Harry opened one eye and saw a bauble of snot on Patrick’s top lip. They’d put Patrick to bed in the spare room, but if he woke up he’d lift the bottom of Harry and Charlie’s covers and wriggle into the space between them.

Mickey Mouse said it was a quarter past four as Harry rolled on to one side and realised he’d been disturbed by a clank from the air-conditioner. The unit that cooled the upper floor was decrepit and the banging suggested that the outside fan had come loose from its cracked bearing for the second time in a month.

A replacement bearing was on order, but getting spare parts for an elderly Chinese-made air-conditioner was tricky. Vern said it could cause major damage if the fan blades shattered, so Harry decided it couldn’t wait until morning.

When Harry sat up, he felt the ball of muck that had built up on his chest while he’d been sleeping. To avoid waking Patrick and Charlie, he held his breath as he grabbed his jeans off the floor, bolted downstairs and ripped into a coughing fit over the kitchen sink.

It took a couple of minutes to hack out a build-up of blood and phlegm. As the fit died down, Harry filled a glass with iced water and caught his breath, propped against the dining table. He thought about the conversation with Dr Harkom, and the situation with medical bills.

Maybe it’s best if I go back to the UK to get these lungs fixed … But my US residency expired when Kirsten went home to look after Granddad. Charlie can’t come with me because of Ed and Patrick, but I won’t be able to return to the USA, unless Charlie marries me first …

Keeping busy was the best way to stop coughing and troubled thoughts, so Harry threw the rest of his water down the sink, grabbed a ladder and toolbox out of the garage and spoke into the walkie-talkie the private security company had given him.

‘This is Harry to the guard on duty, do you copy?’