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Chapters (83)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
  4. PART ONE
  5. 1 SLASHED RUBBER
  6. 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
  7. 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
  8. 4 SOFIA SILVER
  9. 5 DEL TACO
  10. 6 RAINBOW ROAD
  11. 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
  12. 8 CHEESY BALLS
  13. 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
  14. 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
  15. 11 GOON SQUAD
  16. 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
  17. PART TWO
  18. 13 SNor
  19. 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
  20. 15 BEEF AND COKE
  21. 16 CHEF CHANNING
  22. 17 MAD BOMBER
  23. 18 BLOODSHOT
  24. 19 MANSPLAINING
  25. 20 NAPALM DROPS
  26. 21 BETSY & MEL
  27. 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
  28. 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
  29. 24 HOT OR NOT
  30. 25 JUICE JET
  31. 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
  32. 27 SEXY TOAST
  33. 28 COLGATE CHEST
  34. 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
  35. 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
  36. 31 D IN MATH
  37. 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
  38. 33 EARLY BIRD
  39. 34 PATIENT Q
  40. 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
  41. 36 SAMURAI COP II
  42. 37 DIRTY SHAKE
  43. PART THREE
  44. 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
  45. 39 BREAKING BAD
  46. 40 LOVE SHACK
  47. 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
  48. 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
  49. 43 KILLER-T
  50. 44 SPOILED BRATS
  51. 45 BACK TAXIS
  52. 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
  53. 47 TEAM MANGO
  54. 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
  55. 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
  56. 50 HAVING WORDS
  57. 51 BOUNCING BOYS
  58. 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
  59. 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
  60. 54 IGNITION
  61. 55 BUST
  62. PART FOUR
  63. 56 DEAD BUGS
  64. 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
  65. 58 PEER PRESSURE
  66. 59 GREEN FINGERS
  67. 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
  68. 61 WHIPPED CREAM
  69. 62 LIVING HIGH
  70. 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
  71. 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
  72. 65 BUBBLEGUM
  73. 66 BIG ONION
  74. 67 FAMILY REUNION
  75. 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
  76. PART FIVE
  77. 69 STONE DEAD
  78. 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
  79. 71 THE ACCOUNTS
  80. 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
  81. 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
  82. PART SIX
  83. 74 HARRY II

‘If I pay now, you’ll be back for more,’ Vern said, ‘but the girls look dehydrated. I’d be happy to fetch some bottled water.’

A zombie girl shouted cockily from the pick-up’s passenger seat. ‘There’s only two of ’em, Tony. Just kill ’em and get on with it.’

The superhero made an animal grunt and shook his fist at the girl. ‘It’s two-inch-thick steel,’ he shouted, rattling the gate. ‘Shut your hole.’

Suddenly a shot cracked. Harry flinched as the boulder splintered, less than three feet from the superhero’s head. As he looked back, another bullet whizzed overhead, obliterating the door mirror of the lead truck.

‘That’s two warning shots,’ Rosie yelled from her top-floor window. ‘You got thirty seconds to clear out, or the next one cleaves your skull.’

The superhero shielded his eyes, looking into the glare to see where the shots had come from. He had greater numbers, but his vehicles were trapped behind a gate that hadn’t figured in his plans, and Rosie’s sniper position meant they’d take heavy casualties if they tried crossing the open ground between the boulders and the houses on foot.

‘Back on the trucks,’ the superhero growled to his crew. Then he fired a monstrous wodge of spit into the dirt between his boots and pointed at Harry.

‘This isn’t over,’ he warned.

‘We’ll be waiting,’ Harry said, shuddering as he looked the superhero in the eye.

61 WHIPPED CREAM

Charlie came out of the quarantine box inside her coffee shop, this time carrying a plastic bag full of little carbon dioxide cylinders.

‘Ta-da!’ she told Gwen cheerfully.

The barista was nearing the end of a ten-hour shift and disappointed Charlie with a tired, ‘Where’d you get ’em?’

‘There’s a shuttered coffee shop over on Sands. I’ll be reopening it in a couple of months, but I remembered seeing a box of CO2 cartridges when I met with the construction manager who’s gonna fix it up.’

‘Another store,’ Gwen said, managing a slight smile. ‘You’ll be running Starbucks outta town before you know it.’

Charlie ran up to the office and put a million dollars out of her $1.2 million modding fee in the safe. She split the rest, pocketing a hundred thousand for expenses back at the house, and the remainder into a cash register tray containing the shop’s morning takings.

After a phone consultation with a potential modding client over her encrypted phone, Charlie headed down to the shop. She was in a decent mood and her plan was to catch a city bus back to where she’d parked the Porsche, then drive home and help Harry make dinner.