Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
But Charlie barely noticed this now, instead admiring the patient work of mental-health nurses, who got punched and screamed at by their mostly teenage charges. Ed was one of the most able residents, and one of the few who attended a special education unit at a nearby middle school.
‘Guess who,’ Charlie said as she rapped on Ed’s door, which had his name along with a picture of his face superimposed on a Star Wars movie poster. He was easily upset and sensitive to other people’s emotions, so Charlie shook her arms and tried to relax as she stepped into his room.
Ed was fifteen and close to six feet tall. Handsome, but borderline obese. He wore grubby white soccer socks into which he always tucked his tracksuit bottoms because he had a phobia about things crawling up his leg.
Charlie caught a strong whiff of BO as Ed’s arms locked round her back. His first hug always predicted how the next hour would go. If it was stiff and rushed, it meant he was fretting about something, usually about a lesson at school or his constant nagging fear that he’d forgotten something. But today’s hug was lengthy and relaxed.
‘I love you so much, Charlie,’ Ed said, slurring slightly.
‘Aww,’ Charlie said, suddenly feeling better about the world. ‘You haven’t told me that for ages. I love you too, Ed.’
‘I got a new book from Amazon,’ Ed said. ‘It’s true stories about Arctic explorers. I read a hundred and three pages already.’
Ed’s slurred speech and emotional outbursts meant people thought he was stupid. But while his damaged brain struggled with spatial tasks like tying laces or putting on a T-shirt the right way round, he was an average ninth-grader in most school subjects, and he loved to read. Especially biographies of astronauts and explorers, and books about wars.
‘So,’ Charlie said, speaking slowly because she knew the confusion could tilt Ed into panic. ‘Today is Saturday so we don’t have to go to school. How about I help you in the shower? Then we’ll get some breakfast. Then we can play a video game, or watch one of your shows together.’
‘I don’t need a shower,’ Ed said.
‘You certainly do,’ Charlie said firmly. ‘You’ll never get a girlfriend with smelly armpits and dirty socks on your feet.’
Ed picked up one of his feet and seemed proud of how black the sole was.
‘Come on, pilgrim,’ Charlie said firmly. ‘I’ll go and set the shower at the temperature you like. You take off those nasty clothes and drop them in the laundry hamper.’
44 SPOILED BRATS
Harry opened his eyes slowly. His brain throbbed and his vision blurred as he tried to raise his head. The sun was coming up and a sharp breeze rattled the rooftop palms.