Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
‘President West has urged people to stay calm and prepare for a possible quarantine order after it was confirmed that LHV has been diagnosed in three patients in the San Francisco area. Two have been confirmed as a pilot and co-pilot who flew a private jet from London hours before transatlantic flights were halted. The four passengers on the flight, which include the tennis player Lee Rosenwein and his wife, have been placed in quarantine, but authorities in Winnipeg are still trying to track down two cleaning staff who boarded the plane during a refuelling stop.
‘In other news, the death toll in the United Kingdom is said to be over twenty thousand, with the National Health Service on the brink of collapse. The British parliament held its first ever session under quarantine protocol yesterday, with Prime Minister Lawrence taking questions over a video-conferencing system. Leader of the opposition New Labour Group made an unexpected call to pay the $1.5-billion-dollar ransom, and then “hunt the culprits without mercy to the ends of the earth”.
‘Meanwhile, a team of virologists at Britain’s Defence Research Authority, DefRA, have announced that LHV appears not to be related to the Ebola virus, as had been previously thought. Although the symptoms of massive internal bleeding and rapid physical collapse are similar to Ebola, scientists now say the virus is either completely synthetic, or derived from an as-yet-unidentified animal virus adapted to infect humans.
‘The group’s initial finding is that the virus appears to work by taking control of so-called Killer-T cells that produce antibodies. This effectively turns the human immune system into a massive virus factory and leaves the body with no means of defence. Although global governments have poured over one hundred billion dollars into anti-viral research since the SNor outbreak, even the most optimistic scientists say trial vaccines will take months to develop from scratch …’
Charlie felt grumpy as her car reached the Care4Kids lot. It seemed deeply unfair, having some bunch of nuts in a lab on the other side of the world, determining whether she got to fall in love, get a doctorate, have a family and grow old, or die coughing up blood in two weeks’ time.
‘Down in the dumps today, Charlie,’ Joyce the Jamaican nurse said as Charlie scrubbed her hands in reception.
‘It crossed the Atlantic,’ Charlie said.
Joyce put her palms together. ‘May our Lord protect us,’ she said as Charlie donned blackout goggles. She stepped into a plastic cubicle, spreading fingers and raising her arms over her head as Joyce activated the dazzling bluish light of a UV sterilisation booth.
Charlie’s phone and the contents of a small bag rolled through a more powerful steriliser before Joyce opened the electric gate to let Charlie inside. The first time Charlie had visited Care4Kids, she’d been reduced to tears by the yelling and droning, and a whiff of urine and disinfectant that lingered after you left.