Let’s make sure it’s for good!

Don’t Worry!

Hi Cathy

I’m so worried that something bad will happen to me or my family. I look around and see all the bad things that go on in the world – terrorism, war, knife crime, even fires and floods. It’s got so bad I can’t sleep at night. Will this fear go on forever?

Manisha, age 11

Cathy

I’m worried sick about school. My parents expect me to do really well – my sister is studying to be a doctor – but I find some subjects a real struggle. I don’t want to let my parents down, but at exam time I’m literally sick with fear.

Gabi, age 14

Some things are going to happen whether you worry about them or not. It makes sense to stay out of danger, avoid war zones, listen to severe weather warnings and take care of your health, but still, some things you cannot predict. Scary, huh? Perhaps we should all hole up in our homes and never venture out again… but maybe the floods/ fires/terrorism or earthquakes would come to us. Nowhere is safe. Better just give up then, and be scared and frightened the whole time.

Does worrying help? Not really. Bad things, like those mentioned above, happen very, very rarely. Yes, it’s just about possible you may meet a mad axe-murderer on your way to the corner shop, but you’re more likely to meet a friend, a neighbour, a cute boy, a bunch of kids, a couple of rag-taggle dogs. Still going to stay at home worrying?

Better to get out there and enjoy life, every minute of it.

Worry is bad for you. It can make you ill, and it can definitely make you unhappy and take the joy out of life. You can choose whether to allow irrational worry into your life. If, like Manisha, you know your worrying has got out of hand, make a real effort to see all the good things life has to offer and to counter each worry with a more positive thought.

If you’re all tied up in knots because your dad’s late home from work, don’t panic and tell yourself he’s been involved in a car crash. It’s way more likely there’s a traffic jam in town, a last-minute meeting at work or that he’s stopped off at the library/pizza takeaway on the way home. Worry is just a voice inside your head, telling you to think the worst… and thinking the worst makes you feel bad. Answer that voice back with more sensible, realistic, positive thoughts.

If your worry keeps you awake at night and cannot be chased away that easily, see your doctor and explain how you’re feeling. Anxiety can be a medical problem, and there are solutions… don’t suffer in silence. Sharing your concerns can help put them in perspective, and help you to feel less alone with your problems.

Gabi’s worries about school and about letting her parents down can be sorted. Lots of us worry about tests and exams, but wouldn’t it be better to revise properly and know we’re as ready as we can be for them? That cuts worry to a minimum, as we know we’ll be able to do our best – and that’s all we CAN do. Gabi is afraid that her best isn’t good enough, and that her parents expect more from her than she can give. She needs to talk seriously with them and explain how she feels, perhaps with a teacher’s support.