10 I can play the piano.

A list like this is good to have on days when we are feeling negative… it shows us all the positive things we have to be glad about! Many negative things in life can be turned into positives… all you have to do is turn that frown upside down and look at things a different way.

When I was growing up, I read a book by Eleanor Porter about a girl called Pollyanna, who always looked on the bright side of things. Cheesy? Not so much – these days, governments employ experts to do exactly the same thing and call them ‘spin doctors’. Spin doctors can’t cure anything, but their job is to turn ‘bad news’ upside down and find the good in it… it’s a cool trick. Try it!

• It’s raining – but I can use my new Hello Kitty umbrella!
• I’ve got to wear glasses – but now I can see my crush better!
• I messed up in my maths test – but now I know what I need to revise for next time!

Step Four…

Get Happy!

Cathy

I feel so self-conscious, like everyone is watching me the whole time and expecting me to fall flat on my face. When you’re shy, everything is such a struggle!

Keisha, age 12

Dear Cathy

My friends chat to a group of boys from the year above, but when I see them I panic and my words get tangled up and I wind up acting like a total idiot. I’m just an embarrassment!

Abi, age 13

Keisha and Abi, I sympathize! I too was shy at school and boy did it make life difficult. Like Keisha, I always felt people were watching me, expecting me to slip up. Guess what… they weren’t; they were way too busy worrying about their own problems to bother about me, but I didn’t suss that until years later.

When you’re shy, you assume the world revolves around YOU. It doesn’t! What’s the worst that can happen? You get your words mixed up or tell a joke that goes flat or trip in front of the coolest kids in the year… well, so what? You’re human! It’s allowed!

If I’d liked myself a little more back then, I might have been kinder to myself ! If you’re shy and self-conscious, you probably give yourself such a hard time you can hardly blame others if they sometimes join in. Time to change all that…

How do you remind yourself you’re a gal worth knowing? Make a Happy Box! Find an old shoebox and decorate it with cut-out collage pics of your fave bands/actors/icons. Line the inside with fabric from a favourite old dress from when you were little. (Ask first… If your mum freaks because you’ve cut up her fave dress from your childhood, that Happy Box won’t have got off to a great start!)

What goes in there?

• some glitter sprinkles, to give your life a little sparkle
• your list of what’s cool, fun and interesting about you
• a list of your role models (see chapter 7)
• special family photos/pics of best friends
• photos of happy moments/achievements, like when you were an angel in the infant school play; when you played recorder in assembly, aged eight; when you passed your Grade One ballet exam or held a cake sale to raise money for endangered species
• any Pollyanna thoughts you especially like
• a CD of your fave upbeat sounds… or childhood favourites
• certificates, letters, artwork, mascots, souvenirs and so on… even a scrap of tinsel from the Christmas tree or a painting of a purple spotted giraffe from Year Two