Anniela needs to step back from the rows, though, as being caught in the middle is no joke. One parent will use you to get at the other, or just enlist your help in the feud. Sometimes, you might wade in yourself to try to sort things out, but either way it’s not a great idea.

This isn’t your fight – getting involved will just upset you more, especially if you cannot sort things out for them. And sadly, you can’t. It’s not easy, but if your parents are arguing a lot, take a deep breath, back off and give them the space to work things out.

Laura is doing something else I once did lots of – worrying about what might happen, and thinking the worst. For me, the worst didn’t happen, so all that worry didn’t do a thing except keep me awake at night.

But what if the worst had happened? If my parents had split, would it have been the end of the world? If two people cannot solve their problems or find a way to be happy together, if their lives are filled with regret, bitterness, anger or hurt, then is staying together still the best thing? Maybe not.

Laura’s parents have a stormy relationship, but they are a long way from breaking up. Laura should let them know how she’s feeling – perhaps they can keep some of the rows behind closed doors.

Dear Cathy

My friend’s parents are getting divorced and she’s really upset – I don’t know how to cheer her up. Her parents have always seemed OK to me. Can you write a new book similar to that to help me – and my friend?

Maya, age 12

Cathy

My dad has just left us. Nothing makes sense any more – Mum won’t stop yelling, my sister won’t stop crying and I just can’t believe he’s gone. He might not love Mum any more, but what about us?

Chrissie, age 12

A family split is hard, especially on the children, but sometimes, sadly, it is the only way forward.

Maya will need to be there for her friend in the weeks and months ahead. She can help by keeping things as normal as possible, but show her support by offering a shoulder to cry on whenever it is needed.

Chrissie is still struggling to accept what has happened. It’s important to remember that parents break up because they no longer love each other – they still love YOU. You are not to blame in any way for the split, and although things may feel traumatic right now, they will adjust and settle. You are still a family – just a family who no longer live together all of the time.

Patchwork families

Hey Cathy

I loved your book Sundae Girl because I am a bit like Jude – I live with my grandparents and my dad. My mum works abroad so I only see her every few months. Some of my friends think this is a bit weird, but I’m used to things this way.