Be your best self, every single day. Life is a gift – make the most of every minute.

Losing someone close to you hurts, big time, but Larisa and Alana will find that time does ease the pain a little. The people we love are always with us… never regret the time you had together, even if it was short.

Dear Cathy

The old lady next door has just died, and I am expected to go to the funeral. I’m terrified. I just won’t be able to look at the coffin without falling to bits. How can I get through this?

Harbinder, age 10

Dear Cathy

My auntie died suddenly and we are all going to the funeral. I am dreading it. We will have to wear black and sing sad hymns and that’s just not what my auntie was about – she was cool and fun and full of life. It just seems so fake!

Nita, age 13

Funerals are tough. In the past, children were not always expected to go to funerals in case they were upset, and I didn’t go to the funerals of my two grans because I was considered too young. The funny thing is, I really regret not going because I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye properly to my lovely grans… and saying goodbye is what this is all about.

Going to a funeral is not easy, as Harbinder and Nita are aware. Often, it’s a solemn occasion, with flowers and readings and sad hymns, but you won’t be the only one who finds it sad. It’s OK to let your feelings show, it’s OK to cry… or not. There are no rules when it comes to how you feel, or how much of your feelings you can show in public.

If you have to go to a funeral, go with family or friends who can support you through it. Yes, it will be sad, but you will find out things about your loved-one’s life that can inspire or surprise you too. A funeral doesn’t have to be just a sad occasion – it can be a celebration of the person’s life as well.

Funerals can be very formal, but not always… Nita should check with her family whether wearing black is expected. I have been to funerals where the young people wore every colour of the rainbow, where the coffin was painted with bright patterns, where jokes were told at the altar, where an Abba song was played that made the congregation laugh even as they were crying. And of course, in my book Sundae Girl, the family arrive at the church in a pink Cadillac and an ice-cream van, and the family dog is a guest of honour. Why not? A funeral is about celebrating life, as well as mourning death.

Some funerals are very traditional, of course, so it’s best to check with family before bending the rules… this is not a time to upset or offend anyone if you can help it. If Nita’s auntie’s funeral is very traditional, she can create her own special way of saying goodbye afterwards.