Expert Help

Dear Cathy

I have a very embarrassing problem. I need to see my doctor, but I’d rather see a woman doctor and I really don’t want my mum going along! Help!

Brooke, age 13

Dear Cathy

My doctor wants me to see a therapist to help me unravel some bad stuff that happened last year. I don’t want to. I hate that people might think I’m mad or something. Shouldn’t I be able to sort it out myself?

Freya, age 12

Doctors… they can seem scary, but they’re there to help us. They’ve seen just about everything, so nothing you say is going to shock or embarrass them. Sometimes, when you have a girly kind of problem, like Brooke, you may prefer to see a woman doctor, and that’s OK. You may be registered with a male doctor, but you can still request an appointment with a female doctor within the same practice. If there isn’t one, you can ask for a female nurse to be present.

At thirteen, Brooke is probably old enough to see the doctor without her mum in tow, but she should tell her mum if she can. Mums have a lot of life experience and Brooke’s will probably be able to set her mind at rest and help her to take the problem in her stride. She’ll also understand that sometimes, staying in the waiting room is the best way to be supportive! Brooke should make an appointment, and now – she may be worrying over nothing, but one thing’s for sure, the problem won’t go away on its own. If you need to see a doctor, do it – before things get any more serious.

Accepting that you need help for a problem that is mental rather than physical can be tough. Like Freya, many young people feel they should be able to deal with the bad things that have happened to them, chase away depression and conquer unhealthy behaviours, compulsions and ideas.

Sadly, it’s not that easy… struggling to cope with difficult stuff can be tough. Who says you have to cope alone? If you fell into the ocean and someone threw you a lifebelt, would you ignore it on the basis that you should be able to save yourself ? That would be kind of crazy. If someone offers you a lifeline, reach out and take it… it has to be better than drowning, right?

Counselling or therapy can really help with depression, addiction, self-harm, troubled feelings and a whole raft of other problems that can tangle up your head and your heart. Therapy works… it helps you to untangle the mess and create new, more positive lines of thought. It helps to deal with difficult stuff from the past and find new pathways to the future.

It doesn’t mean you’re sad or mad – just the opposite; it shows you have the courage and determination to tackle the problem. If someone offers you a helping hand, take it – drop the mask and stop pretending you can do it all alone. None of us can – we all need help, sometimes.