How can speaking out be worse than that?

The only way to stop bullying for good is to break the silence.

Yes, it’s scary… but not as scary as allowing the bully to go on hurting you. If you want things to change, you must find the courage to speak out and get some help.

When bullying is this serious, staying silent is not an option.

Cathy

I told my mum I was being bullied at school and she wants to come in and talk to my teacher about it. Have I done the right thing?

Anna, age 10

Hi Cathy

I know I have to tell someone about what’s happening at school, but who? I mentioned it to my form teacher a few weeks ago and he just said it would all blow over. I don’t think the teachers really care.

Stella, age 12

Anna has done exactly the right thing. Telling someone about the bullying breaks the silence and gets some help on side. Anna’s mum knows she cannot sort things alone, so she plans to see the class teacher and take things one stage further – if Anna, her mum and teacher work together to stop the bullying, they have a very good chance of succeeding.

Stella has tried to speak out, but her class teacher didn’t take her seriously. Stella must not give up. She could tell her guidance tutor or any sympathetic teacher, or see her year head, school counsellor or even her head teacher… and if she gets some backup from her family, things may move even faster towards sorting the problem out. On the whole, teachers really do care about the welfare of their students – that’s why they became teachers, after all. Ask for help and you’ll be given it… no school can afford to ignore bullying, and no student should ever have to live in fear.

Cathy

My class teacher and Head have promised me they can stop the bullying. I’m relieved I’ve told them, but scared too – what happens next?

Iris, age 13

Each school has its own way of dealing with bullies. Some will take a hard line, excluding the bullies and punishing them. Some have a gentler approach, with specially trained teachers who talk to bullies and victims and help them to work out solutions and new ways to behave. Some let other pupils show the bullies that pushing people around is not acceptable – circle time, golden time, bully courts and pupil meetings are all versions of this.

Whatever action your school takes, it should help to change things. If the bullying continues, tell your teacher – they cannot help unless they know the facts.

An End to Bullying

Dear Cathy

My sister was bullied for three years. The teachers didn’t do anything to help and in the end she tried to hurt herself and ended up in hospital. She had to change schools. I’m telling you this because I’ve just read your book Driftwood and I know you’ll understand. Bullying can ruin people’s lives.