Dear Cathy

I met this guy and really fancied him. Then my friend Nessa met him and now they are going out, but I still have feelings for him! Nessa isn’t even pretty! Should I flirt with him and tell him how I feel? I hate being in Year Eight!

Sophie, age 12

Hiya Cathy

I have fallen for my best friend’s boyfriend, and I think he feels the same. He sent me some texts saying he really likes me. I feel really torn… what should I do?

Kelsie, age 14

Sophie and Kelsie both have the same lesson to learn here – friendship comes before boys, every time. The minute you let a boy come between you, you’re in trouble… boys will come and go, but friendships can be forever.

Sophie met a boy and fancied him, but the spark wasn’t there for him, or he’d be dating Sophie, not her friend. Sophie clearly feels this is unfair, but the truth is, love isn’t fair… there is often no logic behind who fancies who! If Sophie starts flirting and trying to stir things up, she’s more likely to wreck her friendship with Nessa than anything else… and for what? A boy who doesn’t fancy her anyway.

Kelsie needs to accept that her mate’s boyfriend is strictly off-limits. OK, it’s flattering to know someone fancies you, but this boy is bad news… sending flirty texts to other girls when you’re in a relationship? Trust me, if he can do it to Kelsie’s mate, he’d do it to Kelsie too.

Dear Cathy

I think I have fallen in love, and it’s not good because I have fallen in love with another girl. I am terrified someone will find out. I feel such a freak.

Eve, age 13

Many teens go through a stage of feeling attracted to the same sex. This doesn’t mean you’re gay, just curious, and exploring the whole love/lust/ attraction thing. However, for some this isn’t just a stage – it’s a part of who you are.

Eve is confused and upset by her feelings, but she shouldn’t feel ashamed of them or label herself a freak. Falling for someone of the same sex is nothing to feel bad about. Whether Eve chooses to tell anyone how she is feeling is a tough decision – if the girl she likes doesn’t feel the same way, she may well feel threatened or scared. Eve’s best plan is to tread carefully until she’s sure of herself and her sexuality. She can talk to her guidance tutor or school counsellor for more support and help.

Breaking Up

Dear Cathy

I’ve been going out with a boy for three weeks. I like him, but as a friend, nothing more. I hate it when he gets all smoochy and romantic. I want to finish with him, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Alice, age 12

Dear Cathy

What are your tips on getting over someone? My boyfriend just dumped me and it feels like the end of the world to me. I don’t even understand what I did wrong!