Cody, age 13

Dear Cathy

My big sister is going through a really rebellious phase. She’s in loads of trouble at school and things aren’t much better at home. It’s like she hates everyone. I just want my sister back!

Kaitlyn, age 11

Brothers and sisters… who’d have ’em? Well, they can be pretty cool, but they can also drive you nuts, I admit!

It’s hard when you feel your parents have favourites… but ask different kids in a family who the favourites are, and they’d all have different opinions! If you feel things aren’t fair, it’s worth talking quietly to your parents to let them know you’re feeling left out. They may not be able to change things overnight, but perhaps they’ll be able to explain why they act the way they do. Try to see their point of view and make an effort to meet them halfway… and don’t let envy spoil your relationship with a brother/sister. Seema should talk quietly to her parents and clear the air. It may make for a happier atmosphere all round!

Cody’s little sister may be annoying, but all she really wants is attention! She looks up to Cody and is trying to be more like her. If Cody takes time out to make a fuss of her sister sometimes, she’ll probably get a whole lot more peace! She could give her little sister a makeover, pass on some unwanted clothes/make-up/music and talk to her about the whole growing-up process. Treating her little sister as a person rather than an irritating little pest will make all the difference.

Kaitlyn’s sister is lashing out, perhaps over things that have nothing to do with her family. Kaitlyn is obviously missing the good relationship they once shared. She could try writing a letter to her sister to explain this, or just find a quiet time to talk and remind her sister how much she loves and admires her, no matter what.

This may help, but it could be years before Kaitlyn’s sister is ready to let her family get close again. There are no guarantees, but telling someone you love them is never a waste of time… try it and see.

Problem Parents…

Dear Cathy

My dad’s job is under threat and he is so stressy these days it’s a nightmare being anywhere near him. He yells a lot and he’s so unfair!

Sara, age 10

Stress can pull a family apart if you let it. Sara’s dad is struggling to keep his job and worrying about his family so much he can’t quite keep things together when he’s actually with them. He may feel he’s working as hard as he can, yet nobody really understands. The best thing Sara can do is let the stressy bits wash over her and give her dad a hug when she thinks he might need it – sometimes, actions speak louder than words. Sara should also speak to her mum to get some reassurance. The family have hit a rocky patch, but they can get through it.