Jordann is angry at her family and hurt too. Yes, running away would make her parents sorry, but Jordann would be the real loser. Better to stay and sort her problems, or learn to live with their failings until she is old enough to find a college/uni course or job that enables her to move away from home safely. Runaways run straight into danger… it is never, ever a solution.

All of the girls in this section are upset, angry, hurt or unhappy about something in their lives, but instead of facing their problems and trying to solve them, they have come up with ways to cope that actually bring them more heartache and grief.

You cannot find a solution to your problems by eating chocolate cake, drinking cider or smoking a cigarette. Piercing your nose won’t help, and nor will tearing up your maths homework or kissing the boy in Year Ten with hands like an octopus. Hurting yourself, starving yourself, lying, stealing, running away… none of those things help. They might distract you, or make you forget for a little while, or help you to hide a little. They might make the pain you’re feeling inside a physical thing too. They might punish you by making you feel bad about yourself, or ashamed, or embarrassed.

The only way to fix a problem is to look at it head-on and work on ways to solve it, often with help and support from others. It’s not easy, but it’s the only way.

That doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to help yourself feel better in the meantime, though… because some ways of coping really do work. Read on…

Helpbox

Read It…

• Worried About Self-Injury? (YoungMinds booklet with lots of helpful advice and support; contact YoungMinds on 0870 870 1721 or download as PDF file from www.youngminds.org.uk/publications/all-publications/worried-about-self-injury)
• Do You Ever Feel Depressed? (YoungMinds booklet on how to cope with depression; contact YoungMinds on 0870 870 1721 or download as PDF file from www.youngminds.org.uk/publications/all-publications/do-you-ever-feel-depressed)
• Together We Will Beat Eating Disorders (leaflet/PDF file from Beat, a UK charity aiming to beat eating disorders; call 01603 753305 or download as PDF file from www.b-eat.co.uk/Publications/Leaflets)

Websites:

• www.childline.org.uk – sections on when someone dies, feeling sad, running away, crime, drugs
• www.youngminds.org.uk – go to ‘My Head Hurts’ section for info on depression, self-harm, eating disorders and more www.samaritans.org – when you don’t know where to turn
• www.quitbecause.org.uk – helping young people to quit smoking

Helplines:

• ChildLine – 0800 1111
• Beat Youthline – 0845 634 7650 (Mon–Fri 16.30–20.30, Sat 13.00–16.30)

Email:

• [email protected] – when you don’t know where to turn
• [email protected] – help with eating disorders

Cathy’s Books… Published by Puffin

• Scarlett – anger and rebellious behaviour after a family split
• Angel Cake – running away when things go wrong
• Indigo Blue and Sundae Girl – keeping problems secret

12. … and Things That Do!

This chapter is full of ways to help you communicate, relax, let go of hurt and anger, express yourself… and find support, help and happiness. Those are the things that really can help you handle the tough times. Yes, really!