Mina, age 12

Hiya Cathy

I was bullied for a long time in primary and I didn’t tell anyone about it. I lost all my confidence, and when I went to secondary school it started all over again. I changed schools and it still went on, and now I am home-educated, which is good, but I miss having friends. I don’t think bullies even realize how much damage they do.

Victoria, age 13

Sometimes, things go wrong. Sometimes, for whatever reason, schools don’t deal with things properly and the bullying continues. For Mina’s sister, it all got too much to bear. She didn’t know where else to turn for help, so she turned her anger and despair inwards, towards herself. Mina’s sister is starting again in a new school, but I wonder if her tormentors have any idea how much pain they’ve caused her?

Victoria too has been let down by the system. Her confidence took so many knocks she became a permanent victim, always attracting the attention of the bullies no matter where she was. I hope that Victoria will use her time being home-schooled to rebuild her shattered self-esteem – there are lots of tips that could help Victoria in the next chapter.

Mina’s sister and Victoria both felt very isolated and alone, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There are many brilliant websites that focus on beating bullying, as well as helplines and support groups that can help victims and their families to overcome their problems and find a happier ending. If you are being bullied, or just feeling lost, hopeless or alone, you can always call ChildLine on 0800 1111. They will listen – and they can help.

Cathy

I have a terrible secret. Well, it’s not even a secret – I am bullying a girl at school. She just really annoys me and she never stands up for herself, and it’s just so easy to push her around and make her feel bad. I don’t know why I do it, though, because my big brother treats me exactly the same way and I hate it. I just can’t seem to help it.

Brittany, age 13

Hi Cathy

My friends have been acting more and more bitchy lately. They are bullying a new girl who happens to be a bit overweight, and making her life a misery. I try not to get involved, but I still feel bad because I’m not doing anything to stop it. I keep thinking that if I ignore it, they might just get bored and leave her alone.

Shaunie, age 14

What makes someone a bully? Often, like Brittany, they have been bullied themselves, perhaps at home. To them, making someone else feel small so that they can feel strong is a bit of a buzz. Brittany doesn’t have any sympathy for her victim, yet she has a lot in common with her!

Shaunie isn’t bullying anyone, but she feels very guilty because her friends are – and she isn’t doing anything to stop them. Shaunie could talk to other girls in her group and see if any of them share her feelings – I bet a few of them are uncomfortable with what’s happening. Together they can talk to the rest of the group and try to stop the bullying – or find new friends.