Rebel, Rebel

Dear Cathy

My mum has just remarried, but I don’t like my stepdad. He’s always trying to tell me what to do, but he’s not my dad and he has no right to do that. The more he yells at me to stay in, the more I rebel – I’m thinking of getting my nose pierced because I know that’d drive him mad.

Donna, age 13

Dear Cathy

My parents are so wrapped up in their jobs they barely notice I’m alive. I get nice clothes and presents, but I’d give anything to have strict, loving parents like some of my classmates. Mine let me get away with murder. I’ve been in loads of trouble at school and they don’t even seem to care. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m invisible.

Sienna, age 13

Donna is acting up to challenge her new stepdad. Whatever he says, she’ll want to do the opposite – if he suggested burning her school books and dyeing her hair pink, she’d probably settle down and become a straight-A student in perfect uniform. Behaving badly just to spite someone is not a good plan because it allows that person to control you. Surely that’s the last thing you want!

Donna’s stepdad is doing his best to look out for her safety and wellbeing. He’s new at this, so he’s bound to make mistakes, but he cares about her and that’s why he is making rules and asking her to stick to them. War has been declared here, and the only way forward is to call a truce – Donna’s mum may be able to help to calm things down. Until Donna can find a way to get along with her stepdad – or tolerate him, at least – she will go on rebelling just to wind him up. And who loses out in the long run? Donna.

Think about it. Getting a piercing is a big decision, and one that should only be made if you’re sure it’s what you want… doing it just to wind someone up is really not a good reason!

Sienna is also acting badly to see how far she can push things before her parents notice and give her some attention. The problem is, sometimes, parents are too involved in their own lives to realize what’s happening to their kids until it’s too late. That’s very sad, but the real loser will be Sienna. You only get one shot at life – don’t waste that chance. Maybe your family aren’t as perfect as they could be, maybe you are hurt or angry or confused… but make a mess of your life and you are the loser.

Take control – and start steering your life in the direction you want to go.

Dear Cathy

My friends seem to have so much, but my mum is out of work and I feel like the odd one out. Last week I was looking for a pressie for one of them. I saw some cool make-up and slipped it into my bag without paying. Now I really want to do it again… the shops expect to lose stuff to shoplifters, so why should I feel bad?