Ellie, age 14

Friends are rarely perfect… we’re not, so why should they be? Pippa is worried about how others see her friend, and wishes she would grow up a little faster. I suspect Pippa’s friend is quite happy just being herself and really isn’t worried about ‘fitting in’. It can be tricky when you grow up at different rates and suddenly find yourselves with very different interests and ideas. This can pull a friendship apart. Friendships change and evolve as we grow up, but being different can be cool! To keep the friendship strong, Pippa needs to stop feeling embarrassed by her friend and accept her for who she is.

Ellie’s friend is trying a little too hard to fit in. Imitation is supposed to be flattering, but as Ellie has discovered, it can be pretty annoying too. Instead of getting wound up by the whole thing, she can turn the situation around by offering to give her friend a new, unique look that’s perfect for her. The two can go shopping together and pick out styles that are cool, but different… sorted!

Hello Cathy

Last week, my friend Jade came to my house for tea and we had a nice time. On Monday morning, for no reason I can think of, she started spreading nasty rumours about me and my family all around the school. I’m so hurt! I tried to talk to her about it, but she says I’m taking it all too seriously. How much more serious can it be?

Zoe, age 10

Dear Cathy

I really identify with your book GingerSnaps. My best friend is exactly like Shannon. She uses people, and only likes me when I agree to go along with everything she says. I’m not sure if I even want a friend like this – it’s so one-sided!

Marisa, age 13

With friends like this, who needs enemies? Zoe’s friend Jade is a user. She enjoyed Zoe’s hospitality, then turned it against her by spreading nasty gossip about her and her family. Zoe says she can’t think of a reason Jade would do this. Perhaps Jade is having problems at home, or struggling with problems of her own – lashing out may help her to feel better about herself, however briefly. Sometimes, though, girls like Jade don’t need a reason – they just like the attention gossip can bring them. Luckily, people will see this – many will sympathize with Zoe and be wary of Jade as a result.

It hurts, yes, but the truth is that some girls do not make good mates. They have a mean, poisonous streak that will sabotage any attempt at lasting friendship, and if there have been other instances where Jade has treated Zoe badly, perhaps it’s time for Zoe to see this and let go of this relationship.

Marisa is starting to work out that her friendship too is not what it seems. If you act like a doormat, don’t be too surprised if people wipe their feet on you! Marisa needs to change the rules in this friendship and make it clear she is not a pushover, and that may not go down too well with her friend!