Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
None of my clients in Vegas knows where I live, but you only need to make one slip. Just a matter of time before I’m robbed, or blackmailed. I wish I could stop. But we used most of Harry’s money to buy the house and inflation has wiped out the rest. Ed’s home-schooling and medical bills cost a fortune. Both cars will need new battery packs soon … And an imported Porsche battery pack won’t come cheap, if you can get hold of one at all …
To be extra safe, Charlie drove the Porsche out of the city, parked behind the restrooms of a long-abandoned gas station and switched to an old Chevrolet she kept there for an emergency.
She had to sponge six weeks’ worth of desert grit off the Chevy’s windows and, while the battery had been left plugged into a solar generator, the charge meter at the socket reckoned the car was only good for thirty miles.
Those gauges always underestimate by a few miles. I should just make it home …
There was a maraca sound as Charlie grabbed the driver’s door handle. She screamed and stumbled back as a rattlesnake sprang from behind the front tire. She grabbed the gun out of her purse, but the snake decided Charlie was more of a threat than a meal and flung itself energetically over the hot sand.
Charlie scrambled breathlessly into the car and listened to her heart drum. The air-con wasn’t running, so it was unbelievably hot, but when she switched it on full blast, the dash flashed red lights like a downtown casino and the range meter dropped to fifteen miles.
‘Today sucks,’ Charlie screamed, pounding on the steering wheel as she switched the cooling off again. ‘Screw it. Screw everything!’
She wanted to cry, but the thought of Harry and Ed waiting for her at home helped her keep it together.
I’ll soak in the bath. I’m having wine with dinner. And Harry will hold me in his arms. I’ll pretend I’m impressed by whatever veggies he’s brought home and moan about my day. And things will be OK, because I love that boy.
The world is screwed, but if he’s around I can take it.
The last stretch home was barren two-lane highway, rising into the mountains. Charlie kept the speed low to conserve the dodgy battery. Every couple of miles, someone swung into the opposite lane to overtake, including a Nye County Police cruiser. She felt sure it was going to pull her over, because she was driving so slow.
Charlie’s mood lightened when she came round a corner and exited left. Almost home. Get the sneakers off my feet. Harry will laugh when I tell him about the rattlesnake. But don’t mention snakes in front of Ed … What’s that at the top of the road?