Back Killer T
Chapters (83)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
  4. PART ONE
  5. 1 SLASHED RUBBER
  6. 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
  7. 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
  8. 4 SOFIA SILVER
  9. 5 DEL TACO
  10. 6 RAINBOW ROAD
  11. 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
  12. 8 CHEESY BALLS
  13. 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
  14. 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
  15. 11 GOON SQUAD
  16. 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
  17. PART TWO
  18. 13 SNor
  19. 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
  20. 15 BEEF AND COKE
  21. 16 CHEF CHANNING
  22. 17 MAD BOMBER
  23. 18 BLOODSHOT
  24. 19 MANSPLAINING
  25. 20 NAPALM DROPS
  26. 21 BETSY & MEL
  27. 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
  28. 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
  29. 24 HOT OR NOT
  30. 25 JUICE JET
  31. 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
  32. 27 SEXY TOAST
  33. 28 COLGATE CHEST
  34. 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
  35. 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
  36. 31 D IN MATH
  37. 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
  38. 33 EARLY BIRD
  39. 34 PATIENT Q
  40. 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
  41. 36 SAMURAI COP II
  42. 37 DIRTY SHAKE
  43. PART THREE
  44. 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
  45. 39 BREAKING BAD
  46. 40 LOVE SHACK
  47. 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
  48. 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
  49. 43 KILLER-T
  50. 44 SPOILED BRATS
  51. 45 BACK TAXIS
  52. 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
  53. 47 TEAM MANGO
  54. 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
  55. 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
  56. 50 HAVING WORDS
  57. 51 BOUNCING BOYS
  58. 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
  59. 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
  60. 54 IGNITION
  61. 55 BUST
  62. PART FOUR
  63. 56 DEAD BUGS
  64. 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
  65. 58 PEER PRESSURE
  66. 59 GREEN FINGERS
  67. 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
  68. 61 WHIPPED CREAM
  69. 62 LIVING HIGH
  70. 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
  71. 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
  72. 65 BUBBLEGUM
  73. 66 BIG ONION
  74. 67 FAMILY REUNION
  75. 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
  76. PART FIVE
  77. 69 STONE DEAD
  78. 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
  79. 71 THE ACCOUNTS
  80. 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
  81. 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
  82. PART SIX
  83. 74 HARRY II

He grabbed a can of Blue Moon from his bar and enjoyed the gloom as he settled back on his lounger. JJ’s crew had bounced and the partying teens didn’t want to be close by if the cops showed, so Harry found himself alone on his double lounger, detached from dancing, splashing and the laser show coming out of the DJ booth. He thought about going home and catching some sleep, but he lacked energy, and figured the decent thing was to give Matt and Hermione a clear hour at the apartment.

But no cops showed. A guy in a suit barked orders as pool attendants swarmed JJ’s cabana, gathering towels and drinks, mopping tiles, covering up the bar and placing fresh cushions and rolled towels on each lounger. As the clean-up crew left, an electrician came along with a TV balanced on his shoulder.

He whistled cheerfully as he placed the screen face down on the bar. Then he opened a little tool bag and started unscrewing the broken set. Feeling wasted and watching the party from a distance had made Harry grumpy, but he was captivated by the happy little man in his beige shorts and Red Spot-branded polo.

‘Can I ask you something, sir?’ Harry said politely, sitting up.

The man turned and smiled. ‘Depends what it is, I guess.’

‘Have you got a one-one-seven?’

The psychiatrists who developed and studied Zombie mods as a way of combatting mental illness catalogued hundreds of genetic modifications that might affect brain chemistry and alter a person’s mental state. Most z-mods were still known by these catalogue numbers.

‘How’d you work that out?’ he asked.

Harry smiled. ‘Guys with sixty-eights and one-seven-nines are more jittery,’ Harry said. ‘But one-one-sevens are chilled.’

The electrician strained as he lifted the broken TV from its wall mount.

‘May I ask why you had it done?’

‘Wife dumped me,’ the electrician explained. ‘Lived with my daughter for a while, but there wasn’t a lot of space in her apartment. Wound up drinking more and staying out later every night. I’d wake up stinking of booze and aching like the world was ending. I thought about killing myself. Got as far as buying a handgun, then I met a guy in a bar selling mod kits for eight hundred bucks. Took me out back to show me how to do the needles and the rest is history …’

Harry was fascinated. ‘So now you’re happy all the time?’

‘Not happy exactly,’ the electrician answered. ‘You feel sad but it don’t matter.’

‘Isn’t it flat, though?’ Harry said. ‘Like, does anything matter, if you’re happy no matter what?’

There was a pause as the electrician lifted the new TV on to the bracket and reached behind the bar to plug cables.