Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
‘Yeah, you’re a saint,’ JJ taunted, grabbing Fawn and pushing her out through the cabana’s flaps. ‘If you don’t like it, divorce me. But you signed a pre-nup, so you won’t get one damned cent.’
‘Won’t I?’ Fawn teased, wagging a finger. ‘You think I’ll go down without a fight?’
JJ was six-five, but Fawn’s four-inch heels made her a match as they stared off.
‘You were born trailer trash and you’ll die trailer trash,’ JJ taunted.
Fawn swung, drawing blood as she scraped purple nails across JJ’s cheek. ‘You’ll see what I’m capable of,’ Fawn threatened. ‘You wait and see.’
‘All you do is make my life miserable,’ JJ shouted.
Fawn tried to claw again, but JJ saw it coming. He snatched his wife’s wrist and bent back her fingers.
‘You like that?’ JJ shouted, making Fawn whimper. ‘Show me up some more – I’ll break ’em.’
JJ released his wife’s hand and shoved her hard. Fawn’s heels weren’t designed for wet tiles and she skidded on her front foot, grabbing the bar to save herself. She almost did the splits, but carried enough momentum to spin and crack her head against the wall-mounted TV.
JJ’s crew erupted in cheers and applause as the screen cracked and Fawn slumped to the floor.
‘Quit filming,’ one of JJ’s pals demanded, stepping in to block Harry’s shot. ‘Gimme that camera.’
Harry had spent so much of his life as a skinny dude that his instinct was to back off. But though the guy had a couple of inches on Harry, he was flabby, while Harry was all muscle.
‘Or what?’ Harry said, shooting the guy daggers. ‘Touch my phone and I’ll rip your head off.’
‘Press assholes,’ the guy spat. ‘I know who you are, big shot.’
Harry was worried JJ’s pals would turn on him, but they were more concerned about getting JJ away from his semi-conscious wife in case the cops showed.
As JJ and his crew grabbed their stuff and rushed the elevator, a giant bouncer hefted Fawn over his shoulder. He was tailed by a much smaller guy, who spoke into a radio, asking someone to make sure a casino limo was on standby to take her to hospital.
Harry wasn’t the only person who’d filmed the incident, though he’d had the closest view. He considered uploading straight to Vegas Local, but the two Queensbridge girls were under eighteen, which meant he had to blur them in post-production, or risk getting sued by their undoubtedly wealthy parents.
Harry decided it was safest to edit the video when he had a clear head, even if it meant someone else got the story online first. The TV breaking had tripped a fuse, wiping out the lights in Harry’s cabana and the nearest set of loudspeakers.