Parents and teachers sometimes repeat that old saying, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me…’ Well, emotional bullying may not break bones, but it breaks people inside, and that is just as dangerous. It needs to be taken just as seriously as physical bullying.

Dear Cathy

My friend is being picked on. I want to help her, but I’m scared the bully will target me too. What can I do?

Yasmine, age 12

Cathy

Some kids have been picking on me for months and the other day they just pushed me too far and I snapped. I shoved the bully and yelled and swore at her, and guess what? I ended up being excluded. It feels like nobody will listen and everyone is against me, even the teachers.

Shanice, age 13

Yasmine is scared to stick up for her friend in case it means she ends up being bullied too… but there’s lots she can do to help. Just hanging out with her friend – with a few more friends in tow as well, if possible – may be enough to keep the bullies at bay. If you stick together, it’s also easier to challenge the bullies and ask them why they’re doing this…

Yasmine can help her friend to say ‘no’ to the bullies, to walk tall, hide her fear and act confident. She can also help her friend to speak out, going along with her to tell a teacher what’s been going on.

Shanice tried fighting back – literally – and found herself in trouble. This doesn’t seem fair – Shanice had been pushed to breaking point, but the teachers weren’t looking too closely for the reasons behind her outburst. Fighting back is not a good idea. You may end up in trouble, like Shanice, or worse, you could end up getting very badly hurt. Violence is not the answer.

Shanice needs to turn this situation around by telling her teachers exactly why this scrap happened. She should write down a record of the bullying, tell her parents and go along with them to see her teachers. Hopefully, this situation can be sorted out.

Speaking Out

Dear Cathy

I’m being bullied and it has been going on for months. My friends say I should tell my parents and speak to a guidance teacher at school, but I just can’t – if the bullies find out they’ll make my life even more of a misery than it is already.

Rowan, age 13

Help, Cathy!

My life is not worth living. Yesterday, this girl who has been bullying me tore up my art project and threw my backpack into the school bins. She says if I tell anyone, she’ll beat me up and I believe her… so what am I supposed to do? Besides, who would believe me anyway?

Elena, age 12

Bullies don’t want you to speak out. Why would they? It would get them into trouble, after all! So they tell you to keep quiet, or else things will get worse… Rowan and Elena are not the only victims afraid to speak out, but staying silent just protects the bully and allows her to go on tormenting you.