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Chapters (83)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
  4. PART ONE
  5. 1 SLASHED RUBBER
  6. 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
  7. 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
  8. 4 SOFIA SILVER
  9. 5 DEL TACO
  10. 6 RAINBOW ROAD
  11. 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
  12. 8 CHEESY BALLS
  13. 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
  14. 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
  15. 11 GOON SQUAD
  16. 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
  17. PART TWO
  18. 13 SNor
  19. 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
  20. 15 BEEF AND COKE
  21. 16 CHEF CHANNING
  22. 17 MAD BOMBER
  23. 18 BLOODSHOT
  24. 19 MANSPLAINING
  25. 20 NAPALM DROPS
  26. 21 BETSY & MEL
  27. 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
  28. 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
  29. 24 HOT OR NOT
  30. 25 JUICE JET
  31. 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
  32. 27 SEXY TOAST
  33. 28 COLGATE CHEST
  34. 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
  35. 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
  36. 31 D IN MATH
  37. 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
  38. 33 EARLY BIRD
  39. 34 PATIENT Q
  40. 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
  41. 36 SAMURAI COP II
  42. 37 DIRTY SHAKE
  43. PART THREE
  44. 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
  45. 39 BREAKING BAD
  46. 40 LOVE SHACK
  47. 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
  48. 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
  49. 43 KILLER-T
  50. 44 SPOILED BRATS
  51. 45 BACK TAXIS
  52. 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
  53. 47 TEAM MANGO
  54. 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
  55. 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
  56. 50 HAVING WORDS
  57. 51 BOUNCING BOYS
  58. 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
  59. 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
  60. 54 IGNITION
  61. 55 BUST
  62. PART FOUR
  63. 56 DEAD BUGS
  64. 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
  65. 58 PEER PRESSURE
  66. 59 GREEN FINGERS
  67. 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
  68. 61 WHIPPED CREAM
  69. 62 LIVING HIGH
  70. 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
  71. 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
  72. 65 BUBBLEGUM
  73. 66 BIG ONION
  74. 67 FAMILY REUNION
  75. 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
  76. PART FIVE
  77. 69 STONE DEAD
  78. 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
  79. 71 THE ACCOUNTS
  80. 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
  81. 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
  82. PART SIX
  83. 74 HARRY II

She looked a lot like her nephew. Harry had caught the running bug from Kirsten and they shared the same slender build. She’d been getting undressed, so the belt of her white pants dangled and her double-breasted chef’s coat was unbuttoned, showing a grey undershirt beneath.

‘You’re early,’ Harry said, which was an understatement. It wasn’t eight and his aunt never got home before midnight.

‘I had a couple of diners compliment me on your photography skills,’ she said tartly, coming downstairs as Harry unconsciously backed into the kitchen island. ‘And an hour ago I had a call from the principal of your school saying that you’re suspended until I come in to discuss your actions after the evacuation.’

‘School’s closed until Tuesday anyway,’ Harry noted.

‘Don’t get cute!’ Kirsten snapped, hands on hips as Harry felt queasy. His aunt wasn’t around much and they rarely argued.

‘I’m not going through this again,’ Kirsten said, wagging a finger. ‘I grew up with a big sister I loved to bits. I watched her charging all over the world, with everyone telling me how brave and talented she was. But I spent too many nights lying awake worrying about her, and your nan was a wreck every time your mum left on another adventure.

‘Your mum almost died when she got shot, and again when she got blood poisoning in Zimbabwe. And then the ultimate nightmare happened. By which time your dad had pissed off back to Russia, and I wind up with a poor heartbroken seven-year-old to look after.’

‘Mum died of a heart defect,’ Harry pointed out. ‘She’d be just as dead if she’d become a librarian.’

Kirsten jabbed the finger into Harry’s chest. ‘When you turn eighteen, you’re free to take that stupid bloody Nikon your dad bought you and do what you like. But while I’m your sole guardian you don’t take stupid risks.’

‘It wasn’t risky,’ Harry said, imagining how crazy she’d be if she knew about Charlie and the explosives.

‘You climbed back into your school when it was locked down. Some psycho cop might have shot you, or another bomb could have gone off. There could have been a gas leak, or a live electricity cable …’

Harry felt the tear that streaked down his aunt’s face. All he could do was stare dopily at his feet.

‘It happened at my school,’ he said gently. ‘It’s not like I ditched uni and jumped on a plane to Malawi like Mum did.’

‘You edited the videos, and put them online. Found an agency to syndicate the photograph and sell the exclusive on the video. Maybe the explosion just happened, but you knew exactly what to do after. You must have put thought into this.’

‘It’s what I want to do,’ Harry said. ‘Probably …’