Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
The erratic hot water at the house in the desert meant Charlie had often showered with Harry. The Kuchler Motel’s never-ending supply was one of its best features, but if Charlie lingered too long an imaginary Harry would join her and the feels would leave her slumped in the shower tray, sobbing hopelessly.
That time Harry put one of my waxing strips on his chest and yelped so much he fell off the bed …
Charlie almost jumped out of the shower, knowing fond thoughts of Harry led nowhere but pain.
Keep busy.
After drying on the least grungy towel and dressing in her least grungy leggings and last clean T-shirt, Charlie grabbed the laundry basket and started gathering towels and dirty clothes scattered across the bathroom.
The basket was stuffed before she got to the clothes spread around the beds, but Charlie was on a laundry mission, so she grabbed a trash-can liner from the cupboard under the sink and began filling up with Patrick’s Spider-Man underpants and Ed’s aromatic socks.
After waddling down two flights with laundry in each hand, Charlie crossed the parking lot to the motel’s other building and stepped through a basic UV quarantine gate into a laundry room.
One of the three dryers was rumbling and a chunky guy sat in the only plastic bucket chair that wasn’t cracked at the back. He was average height, thirties, with a stocky build and a dark-brown shirt with R&M Haulage embroidered on the pocket.
‘Hey, Charlie,’ he said, peering over a comic book.
His beard had grown and he was dressed for winter, so Charlie took a second to mark him as a guy who’d hit on her when she’d taken Patrick for a pre-bedtime splash in the motel pool, back when it was still hot.
‘Alex?’ Charlie ventured.
‘Rex,’ he corrected as Charlie raised the metal lid on a washer and started dropping stuff in.
The easy smile reminded her that Rex had a one-one-seven, the socially acceptable zombie mod that kept you functioning while life floated happily by.
People with one-one-sevens tended to make good employees in mundane, non-creative jobs, though their optimistic bias gave them a poor sense of danger and their relentless smiles and trite observations made them a goldmine for stand-up comedians.
‘I heard it might snow for Christmas.’
‘Uh-huh,’ Charlie said as she sprinkled powder on top of her first load, then opened another machine to take her whites.
‘Here for Christmas, or off to visit family?’ Rex asked.
‘No place to go,’ Charlie sighed, not wanting this banal conversation, but not ready to face her own company back in the suite. ‘You?’
‘Working,’ Rex said. ‘I was supposed to take a load home to Georgia this morning, but a tire burst on my rig and spares are tough to find.’
‘I heard that,’ Charlie said, nodding as she sat herself on top of the folding bench, swinging her legs.