Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
They were sharing the elevator with two Queensbridge girls, who both wore Ralph Lauren polos and short skirts over their swimming costumes. A girl with huge teeth gave Harry a smile.
‘Who’s your friend, Harry Potter?’ she asked.
Matt didn’t seem eager as the girl began flirting with him. The elevator doors opened to a wave of party noise and a tower of champagne glasses. As Harry grabbed a glass of bubbly, a pool attendant stepped up and apparently knew who he was.
‘Your cabana is prepared, Mr Smirnov.’
Matt gawped as the pool attendant led them past ordinary partygoers fighting for space on plastic loungers to a swanky poolside cabana.
‘Big shot,’ Matt teased as Harry smirked. ‘I’ll never hear the end of this, will I?’
Harry barely knew Axl Darmon, but Axl’s dad’s energy business advertised on Vegas Local, and everyone in town knew Harry and his aunt were friendly with Kent Clark, whose casinos and hotels used more solar panels than anyone else in town.
The cabana’s interior had six chairs round a circular table, a full bar and a bed behind sliding doors at the back. Outside, Harry had eight poolside loungers with cards saying Reserved for Guests of Mr Smirnov on the neatly rolled towels, while nozzles overhead countered smouldering heat with a mist of water.
‘This is the bees,’ Matt said.
By the time Harry gave the pool attendant a ten-dollar tip for an overlong demonstration of a tablet for ordering free food and cocktails, several girls hovered in the shallow water by the cabana’s steps.
For Harry, the greatest prize was Lupita Diaz, dripping in a black bikini. A few years earlier, princesses like Esme Diaz had been an impossible dream; now her equally beautiful kid sister was practically begging for attention.
‘Step up,’ Harry told Lupita before offering her a cocktail.
Matt invited more beautiful girls up the steps as Harry finished his champagne, drank a Long Island Iced Tea and flirted with Lupita on a double-width lounger.
The next cabana was packed with beefy dudes being loud and annoying, and there seemed to be a Roman orgy taking place behind the cloth flaps. Harry was startled when one of them crossed to his side and offered a vast hand.
‘JJ, wow!’ Harry said, forcing a smile, even though the Janssen family stirred unsettling memories. ‘NFL big shot now! I saw a mock draft predicting that you’ll get picked by the Lions.’
‘I hate Detroit,’ JJ said. ‘The Texans would be nice. My offensive coordinator from Midland took a coaching job there. But don’t put that on Vegas Local.’
‘No fear,’ Harry said as Lupita smiled and bumped JJ’s fist.