Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
‘He knows my wife’s birthday too,’ Ellie said. ‘That’s what I’ve been mulling, Harry. I want to put food on the table for my kids. But do I want a sociopath as a business partner? If we have a major disagreement, does Janssen back down, or do I find myself being dangled from a third-storey window by one of his goons?’
‘Take his money, kiss his ass for a couple of years, then bail,’ Harry slurred. ‘The people you think are your friends betray you. Even the ones you think care about you.’
‘And what he did to Charlie and Deion,’ Ellie said, disgusted with himself.
‘Charlie’s a slut,’ Harry shouted.
‘Harry, I’m really worried about you,’ Ellie said softly. ‘Are you driving right now? What happened.’
‘I’m pathetic,’ Harry sobbed. ‘I’m a loser.’
‘I’d say the exact opposite,’ Ellie said firmly. ‘Harry, I want you to be safe. If you’re driving, pull over.’
‘I’m parked.’
‘Great,’ Ellie said, gasping with relief. ‘But I want you to keep talking to me, and I’m going to get my wife to call your aunt, or someone else who can come and get you.’
‘Kirsten will want to say I told you so and Charlie’s probably got her legs wrapped around Brad as I speak.’
‘Stay on the line, Harry,’ Brad said. ‘I’ve been dumped by enough girls to know it’s brutal. But if all those girls hadn’t broken up with me, I never would have met my wife and made my four beautiful kids.’
Harry sniffed and laughed at the same time. ‘You’re always moaning about your kids.’
‘You’ve got me there, buddy,’ Ellie said. ‘Now tell me where you’re at.’
‘I don’t want Kirsten to come,’ Harry said, pushing out words between sobs. ‘Can you come?’
‘I’m six hundred miles away in San Francisco. I’ll call Sue-Ann, or if she’s not home … I’m not exactly sure, but I’ll find someone.’
‘I’m at the Shake Shack in North Vegas.’
‘All right,’ Ellie said, before repeating the location to his wife.
‘I really need to pee now,’ Harry said, realising how drunk he was as he reached for the driver’s door handle and missed. ‘I love Charlie so much, Ellie. I should have put my arm around her last week …’
‘Go inside and use the restroom if you need it,’ Ellie said. ‘Don’t wander anywhere else, though. Someone will be there soon.’
Harry had to hold the door frame with both hands as he stumbled out of the Mini, then he cut through two rows of parked cars. As he neared the restaurant entrance two big guys in golf clothes were coming out. One said goodnight, and the other turned and walked backwards, making a phone gesture with his right hand.
‘Golf, Tuesday. Tell that beautiful wife I said hi.’