Chapters (83)
- Cover
- Title Page
- ALSO BY ROBERT MUCHAMORE
- PART ONE
- 1 SLASHED RUBBER
- 2 NOT HARRY POTTER
- 3 A THOUSAND BUCKS
- 4 SOFIA SILVER
- 5 DEL TACO
- 6 RAINBOW ROAD
- 7 BEAUTIFUL FREAK
- 8 CHEESY BALLS
- 9 DAZED AND CONFUSED
- 10 NEW-BABY SMELL
- 11 GOON SQUAD
- 12 ONE-LEGGED GRANNIES
- PART TWO
- 13 SNor
- 14 GOOD LUCK, CHARLIE
- 15 BEEF AND COKE
- 16 CHEF CHANNING
- 17 MAD BOMBER
- 18 BLOODSHOT
- 19 MANSPLAINING
- 20 NAPALM DROPS
- 21 BETSY & MEL
- 22 TERRIBLE TRIO
- 23 VICE PRINCIPAL
- 24 HOT OR NOT
- 25 JUICE JET
- 26 LANA’S TINY FEET
- 27 SEXY TOAST
- 28 COLGATE CHEST
- 29 TEACHERS ARE DICKS
- 30 DEVELOPMENT KITCHEN B
- 31 D IN MATH
- 32 BLOODY LOVE SCIENCE
- 33 EARLY BIRD
- 34 PATIENT Q
- 35 ALL A BIT CRUMMY
- 36 SAMURAI COP II
- 37 DIRTY SHAKE
- PART THREE
- 38 FREE FLOOR MATS
- 39 BREAKING BAD
- 40 LOVE SHACK
- 41 INDUSTRIAL RELATIONS
- 42 ONE-ONE-SEVEN
- 43 KILLER-T
- 44 SPOILED BRATS
- 45 BACK TAXIS
- 46 DEAD BIRTHDAY
- 47 TEAM MANGO
- 48 TWELVE-PIECE BUCKET
- 49 CLYDE’S DONGFENG
- 50 HAVING WORDS
- 51 BOUNCING BOYS
- 52 ZOMBIE SMASH
- 53 OLIVE PALM DRIVE
- 54 IGNITION
- 55 BUST
- PART FOUR
- 56 DEAD BUGS
- 57 ONE-POINT-SIX BILLION
- 58 PEER PRESSURE
- 59 GREEN FINGERS
- 60 TERATOMA TUMORS
- 61 WHIPPED CREAM
- 62 LIVING HIGH
- 63 MONEY, MONEY, MONEY
- 64 CARDBOARD THE PIG
- 65 BUBBLEGUM
- 66 BIG ONION
- 67 FAMILY REUNION
- 68 UNSEEN POTENTIAL
- PART FIVE
- 69 STONE DEAD
- 70 NO MODS ALLOWED
- 71 THE ACCOUNTS
- 72 SISTER MIRACULOUS
- 73 SLEIGHT OF HAND
- PART SIX
- 74 HARRY II
Harry felt like the walls were swaying as he stumbled into the hallway and placed a cup under the water cooler. He felt like running. If I make an excuse now, I might get back home before Kirsten goes to work and I can beg for forgiveness. But imagine what she’ll say if she finds out. The I told you so she’s been waiting to dish out since the day I met Charlie.
Harry ploughed on. He rode in Betsy’s back seat, while Charlie sat next to Brad. He got introduced to Juno and her cousin in the lobby of a grotty fifteen-screen multiplex, bought his ticket and a stupidly large Coke. He sat next to Charlie, with Brad on her other side and when Charlie reached across to offer her bag of Hershey Drops, Harry caught her shampoo smell again and felt his eyes go blurry.
And, to cap it off, the movie sucked for two hours and forty minutes.
‘We should get a ton of booze tonight,’ Brad told everyone as they headed out. ‘It’s been a while since I got properly wasted.’
‘You got a fake ID?’ Juno asked.
‘Confiscated when I was out with Mel,’ Brad said. ‘But the homeless chick behind Walmart is platinum. Give her ten bucks and she’ll grab all the booze you can buy.’
‘She ain’t always there, though,’ Juno warned as they exited the multiplex into a haze of rain.
‘My curfew’s six,’ Charlie said, checking her phone and seeing that it was already almost four. ‘And Harry needs to get back to Summerlin before sunset.’
‘It’s dark by six thirty this time of year,’ Harry said. ‘With Saturday traffic, I need to leave by ten past five.’
Brad gave Harry a patronising calm down gesture as they neared Betsy.
Die with a big spike up your rectum, you handsome dick hole …
‘Snacks,’ Juno said, adding a clap. ‘We need snack-a-dee-doodles.’
‘You can buy snacks anywhere,’ Brad said impatiently. ‘There’s a 7-Eleven next door to where we live.’
‘Walmart’s way cheaper,’ Juno said.
‘All right, we’ll get snacks,’ Brad said, tutting. ‘As long as Betsy’s a good girl, we’ve got plenty of time to get the hobo chick to buy us booze, beat Charlie’s curfew and get Harry home before he turns into a pumpkin.’
It took less than ten minutes for the old Subaru to reach a small lot. It had a doughnut shop and an Italian restaurant that had both gone bust after the SNor outbreak. The restaurant’s covered dining deck now housed four tents and a couple of scrap-built shelters. Electricity had been pirated from the nearest pole and the parking bays closest to the tents had scorch marks where residents had lit bonfires.
‘Gimme money,’ Brad said, turning to the three passengers in the back as he pulled Betsy’s handbrake. ‘Tell me what you want and keep it simple.’