Death was not on the cards. I had no intention of losing a baby in my house. That was why the baby was here, to bring me the salvation I had been relying on for all these years.

Images of Daisy in labour were racing through my mind, all the scenarios and possibilities. All the things that could go wrong, that I might have to deal with were prominent in my mind. I knew I was taking a massive risk, but this was my last chance. I still had plenty of life left in me. I could care for the child, give it everything it needed. I would make a wonderful parent for him.

I paced around the kitchen checking I had everything I needed to hand, I went to the pool and checked the exterior for any holes.

I had everything else prepared.

I went outside and stood and listened to the sea breeze whipping across the sea wall whispering to me. I could feel it in the air. It was tangible. I was both nervous and excited. Everything was prepared. Soon everything would be as it should be.

54

DAISY

I woke with a dull ache in my abdomen and spent a few extra minutes on the toilet, trying to relieve it. But it remained there as I took the steps slowly downstairs and I realised it was the beginning.

Annie was there at the bottom of the stairs ready to greet me. She was wearing what appeared to be sports casuals, something I had never seen her in before as though she were about to run a race. Her face was fixed in a grimace she was desperately trying to pass off as a smile.

‘Daisy, how are you?’ She put her arm around me and chaperoned me into the kitchen. There was juice and fruit and cereal all laid out.

‘I’m feeling some lower abdomen pains, but other than that…’

‘That could be the start of the labour, does it feel like a period?’

‘Yes, sort of.’

Something was preventing me from fully opening up and revealing my true thoughts. I had been here before, so I knew what was what. I had felt this same sensation all those years ago and I wanted to keep it to myself. But Annie was like a wild-eyed creature fussing around me, as though she could sense it and smell the hormones that were slowly releasing themselves into my body, preparing me for birth.

‘Right then, young lady, let’s get you filled up. If this it, you’re going to need all the energy you can get.’