I knew Daisy was slowly losing her mind. She was a shadow of the girl she was when she arrived here at the beach house that day with my son in tow wearing those red high heels. She had already married my son without meeting me let alone considering I might have been inclined to witness the matrimony between my one and only son and his chosen life partner.

Now she was more inhibited, flinched when I entered the room, and seemed to retreat into herself. I was there to protect her body, make sure she was fit enough to carry the child. I had bought a blood pressure machine online and took her reading daily. I ensured she took her iron supplements and vitamins every day.

I found her this morning sitting in the lounge soaking up the warmth of the rays through the window

‘Why don’t you just get outside?’ I said feeling the agitation in my voice. The sight of her just sitting there was enough to rile me up. Sometimes I thought I was almost looking forward to seeing her in immense pain. Daisy barely looked up at me. The conversations were few and far between these days. We were both aware that I knew everything about her sordid past.

The baby could be here within days. But there wasn’t anything I didn’t now know about pregnancy, labour and newborns. I felt almost like a professional midwife. It wasn’t going to be long now and I would finally be holding the child I had been waiting for.

52

DAISY

He only called me once when I was back at home, and luckily both my parents were out, but I don’t suppose that would have bothered him. He was beside himself, one minute throwing accusations at me the next crying over the baby.

After the phone call with Callum ended, I never saw or heard from him again.

I was on the brink of turning sixteen and I had just given birth. I stayed at the hospital for two more nights so they could monitor me, then the social services came and took her away.

Looking back, I suppose I could have fought harder for her. I allowed my mother, the woman who never showed me any compassion or true unconditional love, to convince me to give away my daughter. Whilst I may not have known it then, just having her with me for a mere few days was worse than letting her go without ever laying eyes on her.

It was only when the milk that was meant for her, to nurture her and protect her, filled my breasts and leaked out uncontrollably with nowhere to go, did I feel like the world had slipped beneath my feet. My mother made an extra effort to give me as much space as possible. She was there for the practicalities, dropping painkillers at my bedside several times a day. But I was lost, my mind a whirlwind of emotions.