Jenny was so good for me. She kept me going, she made me believe that one day I would become a mother I was destined to be. So I held on to that thought and never let it go.

26

DAISY

I left Patrick’s before 9 a.m., grabbing the radio and squeezing it into my handbag. The thought of having a little music, something familiar to listen to, was already bringing me a flicker of comfort. Patrick was sprawled on the couch when I left him, vowing to fulfil his promise to Eve and go to bed for a month. I hadn’t slept well at all and I had a longing to get back to Annie’s. I had thrown Patrick’s words around in my mind for too long in bed, preventing myself from sleeping. As I walked along I gave myself a talking to – stop overthinking everything, Daisy, you’re in shock and grieving.

I breathed in the bracing fresh air and walked the short distance to the gym where a few weeks ago I was teaching classes, when the new year had just begun and I had felt a great sense of positivity for the future. It frightened me just how quickly everything had changed.

Once inside the gym, I sought out the manager, Craig. He was sitting at a table in the café, wearing a crisp white polo shirt with his tanned biceps exploding out of the bottom of the short sleeves. I approached him from behind and kept my eyes focused on his bald head, which he shaved regularly to make it appear as though his lack of hair was his own choice and not nature’s. I arrived next to him as he took a sip of his cappuccino from a cup that looked comically tiny next to his huge arms and hands. He looked me up and down. I knew I didn’t look my best although I had made an effort with my hair and I was wearing something fairly sporty.

‘I lost everything in the fire, Craig,’ I said, noting his look of disgust.

Craig rested his gaze for too long on my protruding stomach.

‘Come on, Daisy, you know as well as I do that this is a prestigious gym. People want to see… well… not that.’ He motioned up and down to me with one hand whilst turning and sipping his coffee with the other. I narrowed my eyes at him and looked at how his comedy-sized muscles twitched and flexed even as he sat drinking coffee.

‘So can I get my classes back?’ I said in my best matter-of-fact tone. Craig had never got over my rejection after he brazenly tried it on with me at the staff party two years ago and it was apparent he was going to use his position of power to reap his revenge.

He pulled his lips in and shook his head. ‘No can do, Daisy. It’s been weeks. I didn’t hear a word from you. Girls are falling over themselves to get work here.’ He motioned to the other side of the room where a buxom blonde girl was chatting animatedly to another member of staff. Her pink Lycra leotard and matching sweat band made her look like a Barbie doll.