‘We haven’t got a home any more, Daisy.’

I looked at Ben. I nodded and blinked out the tears.

‘But it’s okay.’ Ben touched my knee ‘We’ll be fine,’ he said almost jovially. Then, as though he realised that his last statement probably sounded incredibly lame to me under the circumstances, he added, ‘But I know things will never be fine, nor will they be the same again. I’m so sorry, Daisy. I don’t know what to say… but in time you will know how much I love you and how much I am here for you. I promise I will do whatever I can to get us through this.’

‘Stay.’ I spoke softly. I wiped tears from my cheeks and looked at Ben. ‘Don’t leave again to record the album. I can’t bear to be alone.’ I began to weep. My shoulders shuddered. ‘I just can’t bear it, Ben.’ Ben pulled the car over, unbuckled his own belt, leant right across and took me in his arms. He didn’t answer me but his silence spoke volumes.

17

ANNIE

I was watching at the window when they arrived. The sun was just coming up. I hadn’t slept all night. I was overwhelmed with tiredness and my anxiety levels had peaked. But I would have to try and bury those emotions so I could be the mother Ben needed me to be.

I pulled the curtain back another inch when I heard the tyres of their car crackling along the end of the gravelled driveway. I released the curtain and rushed down the stairs to open the door ready to greet them.

It was so strange that yesterday would bring so much revelation and tragedy at once. It was just terrible what had happened last night at the flat and I was only thankful Ben was in London at the time. Above all the terror in his voice, I heard how much my son needed me.

I greeted them at the door with a pained expression and a blanket. As Daisy walked through the door, I placed the blanket around her shoulders like I had seen on TV programmes. I was sure it was the right thing to do under the circumstances.

‘When Ben said you had been out and about last tonight, I thought you might not be wearing much so I had this ready for you. I’ve run a bath and I’ve put some of Ben’s old pyjamas on his bed for you. Come and sit down, you two. What a terrible shock for you both. I have brandy. Who will have a brandy? Ben?’ I ushered Daisy through into the lounge as Ben obligingly removed his coat and hung it up on the peg as he always had done. All the while, I eyed Daisy, her presence ever more apparent.

I observed them uneasily as they settled themselves in the front room then I excused myself to fetch refreshments. I arrived back a few moments later with the tray I had prepared ready for them.