As for not stopping until the end of Boxing Day and leaving before lunch…! I spent the day taking down the decorations after they both left. No point keeping them up just for me, was there?

But then that bombshell from Ben about leaving to work away on the other side of the country? I bet the two of them had a good old chuckle about that. Ben won’t be able to handle it, he’s never been away anywhere before. How does he intend to manage a relationship with Daisy when he’s all the way over there? And with a baby just months away. I’ve told him before and I’ll tell him again, marriage is not easy. Who knows what that girl will be up to whilst he’s not there? But there is the upside that he will come crawling back when it all comes crumbling down around him. I would have him back here in a heartbeat. I worry about him out there without me. People do terrible things; no one is really safe.

This was all Daisy’s fault. If she hadn’t wormed her way into his life, our life, probably making all kinds of demands of him, then we would still be plodding along as we always did. I wouldn’t have him working himself ragged to support her and that child when there was plenty of room for the two of us here. I would have had the upstairs converted or even the cellar, so he could have his own space. Why did he have to leave me? It felt like it was happening all over again. I couldn’t bear to feel neglected again.

I needed to get a grip and put a stop to all of this now. I spent far too long protecting my son, I needed to keep him where I knew he would be safe.

11

GRACE

During that first cooking lesson, the lady saw me staring at her little boy, a mere toddler.

‘I had to bring him, his dad’s at work. I can’t get a babysitter. I know Emily a little bit. She doesn’t mind.’

I looked away from the little boy who was contentedly playing with his toy train and then up at the woman. She was tall, her golden blonde hair tied neatly into a French plait. I noted how her skin was flawless and her cheeks were rosy pink.

‘Oh. He doesn’t bother me. He’s very sweet. What’s his name?’ I winked at him.

‘Michael. But we call him Mikee, don’t we, love?’ The lady looked down at Mikee, who continued playing with his train, seemingly oblivious to anyone or anything around, too engrossed in his toy to look at the desperate woman in front of him. ‘Got two more, both at school, mind.’ Then she patted her stomach and leant in. I could smell her perfume. It smelt like Chanel or something equally expensive, although I wouldn’t really know. She whispered to me, ‘And another one on the way. Haven’t told the husband yet. But I just know, you know?’