She was sat up on the bed with the baby latched onto her breast. The natural maternal sight made my heart quicken with envy. I tried not to falter and continued over to the bedside table.

‘There we are, some delicious hot chocolate for us and biscuits for your energy. I hope you’re happy to have a little sugar now? Doesn’t he look jolly happy there?’ I said and Daisy smiled at me as she took the hot chocolate and took a few long sips.

I was clearly forgiven for offering the little man a bottle.

‘Yes, he does.’ She looked down at him with that maternal gaze and I had to glance away for a second.

‘Four o’clock already? Where did the day go, anyone would think a baby arrived this morning.’ I made a feeble attempt at a laugh but Daisy didn’t notice as she was too engrossed in the baby.

‘Any thoughts on names now?’ I quizzed.

She shrugged. ‘No, none. One will come in time.’

‘I’m sure it will.’ I settled myself on the side of the bed. ‘Would you like some more hot chocolate, dear, it will give you some strength?’

The baby fell off her breast and his little head rocked back.

‘Yes thanks.’ She carried on drinking, her left arm cocooned around the baby. I had made sure it was at optimum drinking temperature. ‘You know, I really need to get in touch with Ben again, send him some messages and photos of the baby. I’m sure now he’s here, he will want to meet him.’ She said taking big gulps I had made it extra sweet after all that exertion her body was probably craving the sugar.

‘Yes, dear, you’re right. We should try again and make contact soon.’

‘What do you suppose he might say, after all this time?’ Daisy’s head was slouching to one side.

‘I don’t know, dear, I suppose he will have just been having a good long think and you would have thought given all that time he would have come to his senses. But I guess there’s just no telling with that boy’.

Daisy took another long drink of the hot chocolate.’

‘I miss him… that’s all…’ Her voice was small and sleepy.

‘I know. We all miss Ben. But Ben has been a very naughty boy and disobeyed his mummy. Just you rest now, that’s it, close your eyes, all will be well.’ I reached over and took the tilted mug from her hand. I placed it on the bedside table. Then I stood up and reached down and took my baby.

61

DAISY

I woke up as though I had been underwater and I was taking my first gasp of air. My arms were light, no longer bearing the weight I remembered before I fell asleep. My naked breast was still out. I arranged it back inside my T-shirt.

The banging, it was there. Was it the banging that had woken me? It seemed louder than usual, as though it was in the room.