The police officer had my handbag on the counter, the entire contents now sealed up in a clear plastic bag.

‘Cell F12.’ The policewoman behind the counter looked at me and spoke coldly, her eyes locked on me.

I felt the firm grip on my arm as I was escorted down the stairs to the cells. When the heavy door slammed and locked I stood motionless in the small stark room. My mind flashed back to the days with Ben when it was just us two, when he was so young, so influenced by me. I had a purpose. I was needed. I was wearing a cardigan but they had removed my shoes because they had a small heel and my feet, through my tights, could feel the chill coming up from the floor. I saw there was a blanket on the bed so I made my way towards it and wrapped it around my shoulders. I sat down on the bed and pulled my legs into my chest and rested my head on my knees.

72

DAISY

We stood at the door of the small ground-floor flat, an emergency home given to Ben, Jasper and me until we were able to get ourselves back on our feet. It was comfortable and there was a small private garden. The spring air had begun to turn warm and I imagined us three sitting on the grass enjoying a picnic and the warm summer sun healing us.

Ben was on crutches and leant against the wall. I moved out to the pathway to greet the four people as they tentatively approached.

She arrived in front of the other three, striding ahead as she got closer. Her arms were already open. She looked at me briefly and placed a hand on my shoulder. She looked at Jasper in my arms then her eyes were on Ben. She pulled him in to her and they clung on to each other, never wanting to let go. Finally, Ben was released and I was embraced with the same furious intensity by the woman who introduced herself to me as Jenny, and who I would know as my mother-in-law. Ben’s real mother.

Ben had an older sister and brother and a younger brother. I was introduced to Emma, Sean and Conner.

Jenny had a strong Irish accent and kept calling him Mikee before stopping herself. But Ben said it was okay, we’d work something out.

She apologised over and over again for letting him go. For turning away for long enough for him to slip away.

Ben told her he didn’t blame her. And that he always knew.

She hadn’t stopped searching for him for over twenty years.

Because the bond between a mother and son is a special one.

It remains unchanged by time or distance.

It is the purest love – unconditional and true.

It is understanding of any situation.

And forgiving of any mistake.