I stood in the middle of the brightly-lit room and watched as it began to spin about me.

I felt someone grab my arm and I looked around to see Annie.

‘Come on,’ she said and walked me outside.

Annie helped me to get my seat belt on and sat back in the driver’s seat.

‘Right, let’s get you home then.’

‘Should I go to the hospital, Annie, I feel… not well.’

‘It’s the shock dear. Nothing more.’

‘But the baby,’ I heard myself say for the first time.

‘Now, Daisy.’ Annie placed her hands on the wheel and looked straight ahead. ‘You and I both know you are not feeling your best at the moment. Do I need to spell it out? As soon they see you in that hospital and see the state you are in, you know what will happen, don’t you?’ Annie waited for a response from me, when it didn’t come, she continued. ‘They will start making notes about you. Before you know it, you will be considered a high-risk case. Especially after everything that has happened with Eve. I presume the verdict was accidental death? I presume you are feeling the brunt of the blame? Do you know what the journalists will say about that?’

I looked up at Annie. ‘But the family liaison officer said it would be a really small piece in the paper…’

‘Yes, Daisy, small, but it’s the words they will use. They will hint at neglect on the part of you girls. Did you ever get that appliance checked?’

‘I know it’s my fault, but I didn’t do it on purpose.’ I began to cry. I couldn’t hide my emotions any longer.

‘My dear, of course it’s not your fault. Entirely. It was just a tragic accident. But these doctors, they talk to the social service people. They will start putting two and two together and coming up with all sorts. I’ve seen women have their babies taken away for far less.’

Annie’s words were crushing me, I couldn’t breathe. I willed her to start driving so I could feel the comfort from the motion of the car as she would take me back to the beach house, where I knew I would be safe.

39

ANNIE

I got Daisy settled under the bed sheets before handing her a chamomile tea. I concluded that extra iron wouldn’t go amiss at this stage and I had stopped on the way home and bought a cart load of vitamins.

‘Now drink this, swallow a couple of these; I’ve got iron, zinc and vitamin C and try not to think about that awful stuff. You will prepare yourself for reading what they print, but then you will put it behind you. This week’s newspaper will be lining next week’s bins, my dear.’

‘I feel like I need something stronger.’

I watched as Daisy’s teeth chattered and her hands shook.

‘I’ll run you a warm bath and get you a shot of brandy. One shot can’t do any harm on a day like today.’