32

ANNIE

Babies are a blessing. A miracle. They shouldn’t be treated as though they are this disposable component that can be got rid of because circumstances don’t suit.

I realised I was one of the few women out there who was willing to commit everything to raising a child. Our children are these tiny delicate creatures and we are the rock between them and the harmful effects of the outside world. I knew that the day Ben arrived in my world. Such an innocence. He needed me the most, and I was never going to let him down. I committed my life to raising him. And here it was again, Daisy’s baby, another miracle. Another opportunity.

‘You know, it’s probably best that this baby business remains between us, Daisy,’ I said as I fluffed up the cushions around her. She was in shock from the message from Ben. And rightly so. It was vague, impersonal, it was as though he didn’t know her at all. ‘I was looking into homebirths and how they are received now. Have you heard they are coming back? All the rage with new mums. Ben was born at home.’

I watched as Daisy looked up at me, a glint of interest in her expression. ‘You have gone through a great deal these last few weeks and becoming a mother, this is way more than you should be going through. And, Daisy, you know how many people are involved in a pregnancy, don’t you? The doctors, the midwives, the health visitors? I mean we don’t need all that palaver, do we?’

I paused to read Daisy’s reaction, which was full of muddled emotions. ‘Things aren’t how they were twenty-five years ago in the early eighties when I was starting a family. There was none of this agency sharing information and every Tom, Dick and Harry sticking their two pennies’ worth in. We were just left to get on with it. Of course, more of the poor buggers were slipping through the system, but now they watch everything, Daisy. They monitor you like a hawk. There’s no hiding from them. They will pick up on anything, any emotion, any fault and it will all be recorded. They are all over everything these days, they know everything. All your past history…’ I allowed that last comment to fill the air like a thick cloud of smoke and watch as Daisy inhaled it. She appeared to physically shrink down into the sofa. ‘If you want to keep your baby, to not have anyone sticking their nose into your business, you need to have the baby here and not tell a soul.’

She looked as though she were thinking and then gave a small nod.

‘But you know I’ll look after you. I have my pharmacy experience. I can get hold of the right drugs.’

I edged a little closer to her and tentatively placed a hand on her leg. She looked at my hand. ‘You should get rest. Now it is more important than ever.’