‘How’s things today, Annie?’ June took a brown paper bag and started dropping the shiny red fruit into it.

‘Oh, you know. Same as,’ I said as I looked away from her and out of the window.

‘How’s that boy of yours getting on then?’

I began imagining Ben as a small boy when he would run around this very grocery store and help me count out the vegetables.

‘Yes, you know, same as usual.’ I felt a pang in my stomach, a gut tightening feeling and I was overcome for a moment with sadness that Ben wasn’t that little boy any more, that June couldn’t comment on his floppy dark locks and tell me he was the apple of my eye, and I would nod and say yes, he was my everything.

‘They are so busy at this age, aren’t they? Flitting about. No time to think of anyone but themselves.’

I nodded. ‘Yes, but he loves his mum.’ I didn’t even consider that I should share the news about his marriage. Or the other news.

June smiled at me and handed me the brown paper bag.

I left the grocer’s with the dinging of the bell in my ears. As I stepped out of the shop I turned right to go to the butcher’s. Between the grocer’s and the butcher’s was a small electrical store selling LED TVs and docking stations and all the modern appliances young people couldn’t live without these days. As far as I was concerned the shop was an eye sore. And as for that colossal TV screen in the window, I mean, who needs a sixty-inch television in their lounge? But today as I passed, I couldn’t help but turn my head to look at the image showing on the TV that towered above me and suddenly something was so very familiar. I tripped slightly and the basket slipped from my fingers. I didn’t look down at the tomatoes that had fallen out, but I knew the ripe fruit would now be a red smashed mess around my feet. I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. I could feel bile rising in the back of my throat and I thought I could very well be sick. The size and imposition of the TV was instrumental in showing in full HD colour, a news report with the headlines underneath.

And above that, the face of the person I’d hoped I would never see again.

2

DAISY

‘Hi Mum,’ Ben sang and fell into his mother’s arms as she patted his back as though she were winding a baby.

It was early December and I was practically shivering by the time we had reached the front door where Annie was already poised ready to greet us. I stood and patiently waited, I watched with intrigue as Annie took her son in her arms and ignored all presence of me over his shoulder.

I could hear a different voice coming from him, one he obviously only reserved for her and I tensed at the sound of it. Something about it unnerved me; it was a new tone to me, a part of Ben I had never seen or heard before. I had tried so desperately to uncover every piece of my husband so there were no surprises after rushing to get to know him. Perhaps in my haste there were things I had missed.