‘Well, don’t. Die that is. That wouldn’t be good.’ Ben took my hand. I felt a rush of lust and I had to quickly look away and feign interest in the window. Images of the two of us together from last night flashed into my mind, and I could barely concentrate any more. I let a few moments pass then I stood up and flopped onto the sofa. Ben took the hint and followed me. I leant back into the soft fabric and with Ben next to me I thought about the last few hours in the company of this complete stranger; how could I feel and act this way with him? Completely at ease and throwing myself at him as though I had known him for years.

We had lain for hours that morning just staring at one another’s faces, examining the lines that were waiting to tell the stories of our lives. I was overwhelmed with a yearning to know the intricacies of him and to avoid the subtle embarrassments of a new relationship; yet I also wanted to bottle this addictive feeling of anticipation that came with being with someone who knew nothing about me; knowing that every moment spent together was a discovery. And that my past was safely in the past and that was where it could stay – if that was what I wanted.

‘You’re different, Daisy. I’ve never met anyone like you,’ Ben whispered and I could hear the desperation in his voice. Every word he spoke was like being spoon-fed honey and I closed my eyes for a second to absorb it all. I wanted to be able to say all the words that were forming in my head, words like ‘you’re the one, I think I’m in love with you, you’re making every fibre of my body shudder’.

I settled for the safety of, ‘I’ve never met anyone like you either.’

Ben squeezed my hand. He squeezed it hard with both of his and I felt an urgency in that squeeze. Something that suggested he was lost, lonely and in need of something that perhaps even he didn’t know. And I knew we were destined to be together.

Two lost souls found.

We sat there on the sofa and stared at one another. Every now and again, we allowed a small smile to creep across our lips.

At some point Eve appeared and attempted to ask us if we wanted more coffees. Eventually she gave up and walked away leaving us with our fingers entwined and our eyes locked upon each other.

Oblivious to everyone and everything around us.

6

ANNIE

It was Ben’s birthday today, the first birthday I wouldn’t spend with my son.

He was born so close to Christmas that I feel me and Ben and Christmas all belong together. It was the 17^th of December 1982 and he was due Christmas Day but popped out a week early.

The roads were so icy that night and luckily the midwife was on duty in the area, so Ben was a home birth. She arrived just as his little head was appearing. I remember the story as though it happened yesterday. It’s always there in my mind ready to tell anyone, but of course no one asks, because it’s always just been me and Ben.