We had been sitting for over an hour, Patrick and I, with take away coffees from the café at the foot of the hill and we had left, both agreeing to keep in contact until the funeral. Apart from the support that it would bring, we had to converse between now and then as there were readings and flowers to arrange. Patrick would cover the cost; he had been adamant on that.

As I got into the car my thoughts were brought back to Ben and our argument. Despite the comfort Patrick had brought to me, I couldn’t push away all the nagging feelings within me. Eve’s death and my words to Ben. What had I meant by them? Was I truly blaming my husband for my friend’s death? I sat in the car and mulled everything over and over until I began to feel dizzy with it all. But the uneasiness crept back and lingered long after I left and began the drive back to the beach house.

21

ANNIE

I heard the crunching of stones under rubber tyres and stood close to the door, waiting for her to enter. She opened the door and immediately I could see she looked terrible. Her eyes were bloodshot and red all around. She looked frozen having only been wearing Ben’s cardigan. When I went to speak my voice was more controlled than I had anticipated.

‘Daisy. Where on earth have you been? I have been…’ I needed to say anxious, worried, but I couldn’t force the word out of my mouth. ‘The baby, Daisy, you need to be thinking of the baby. My grandchild. Come in, let me get you something warm to drink.’

Daisy closed the door and removed Ben’s cardigan.

‘I just need to lie down, Annie,’ she said and made for the stairs.

‘Okay,’ I called after her. ‘You just let me know if you or that little baby need anything.’

A few hours later, I headed upstairs to perform my usual rituals of making sure all windows were shut having given the house sufficient airing, it was now time to warm the house for the afternoon and evening.

As I approached Ben’s room I peered around the bedroom door. Daisy looked as though she were asleep. I approached her bedside on tiptoes. I should have stopped and caught my breath outside the door as my breathing was now laboured. Daisy stirred and moved under the duvet.

‘Annie.’ Daisy’s voice was croaky from sleep.

‘I was just coming to check on you. Do you need anything?’

Daisy pulled herself to sitting.

‘Erm. No. I’m fine. I think.’

I watched as she began the religious act of tying her hair up with the band she kept around her wrist. Mounds of thick yellow hair, swiftly and confidently wrapped up into a bun on the top of her head.

‘I will probably get up soon. I thought I heard his voice a little while ago.’