BooksBarbecue
Back Suzy Suzy Save as PDF
Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

I decided that Serena needed me to believe she was pregnant. It’s probably a Condition. Mumsnet has the deal on phantom pregnancies. It is called pseudocyesis. I think Serena has pseudocyesis and a lot of other pseudos. We all have Conditions idk maybe psychologists could diagnose us. I decided she needed me to imagine a baby inside her so she could imagine it herself. Like I’m independent confirmation that her nightmare-fantasy is an actual baby and not a phantom.

Did you tell your dad?

She shook her head. I’m scared.

I said, At least you won’t have to tell him until after the exams. You look totally non-pregnant. In a month you’ll be done with your last paper and you can tell him then. You’ll have a bump by then.

I asked her if she could feel anything and she said it was too early. She googled it and you generally don’t start to feel movement until between sixteen and twenty-two weeks. Eventually she’ll have to pay attention to the movements because if he doesn’t move for a while he might be in distress. She looked dreamy talking about it. Like mothers with babies in them look totally stoned sometimes. I was jealous. I made her promise that as soon as she felt something she was to tell me so I could feel it too.

I texted Holly: Serena says she’s preg Jack is the dad.

Holly: She’s always worse on her period and she’s on now.

Me: Rolls eyes.

73

The other topic of conversation was my brother’s boyfriend who by now everybody knew about except my dad. His name is Páraic. He was a teacher from the boys’ school, a man of thirty years of age, and very good-looking. I just don’t get how all the best-looking guys are gay. Except John Brown. It was going on a couple of weeks now and they were not hiding anything. The word was that the principal of the boys’ school was gutted and was looking at ways of getting rid of Páraic but it was illegal. The principal’s nickname was Snotty. Boys do that. He had a habit of rubbing his nose when he was talking. Serena said she didn’t think you could be a native Irish speaker and gay at the same time. We thought that was so funny. Like to listen to our Irish teacher, every Irish speaker was a Catholic and Very Good and Said The Rosary After Tea All The Mysteries and Never Even Tasted Alcohol. I said Páraic was striking a blow for freedom. But that wasn’t funny because it was actually true.