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Chapters (90)
  1. Cover
  2. By the same author
  3. SUZY SUZY
  4. Copyright
  5. Contents
  6. Glossary of Dialect Terms
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. 42
  49. 43
  50. 44
  51. 45
  52. 46
  53. 47
  54. 48
  55. 49
  56. 50
  57. 51
  58. 52
  59. 53
  60. 54
  61. 55
  62. 56
  63. 57
  64. 58
  65. 59
  66. 60
  67. 61
  68. 62
  69. 63
  70. 64
  71. 65
  72. 66
  73. 67
  74. 68
  75. 69
  76. 70
  77. 71
  78. 72
  79. 73
  80. 74
  81. 75
  82. 76
  83. 77
  84. 78
  85. 79
  86. 80
  87. 81
  88. 82
  89. About William Wall
  90. An Invitation from the Publisher

My dad thought hard. You knew when he was thinking hard because he frowned. Then he looked at me and looked away again.

Could I speak to you alone, he said to the guards.

For fuck’s sake, Dad!

Suzy! Language! Just go and wait in the kitchen will you. There’s a good girl.

If you wouldn’t mind, miss, the older of the two guards said.

I went into the kitchen. But then I came back and listened at the door. The older guard’s voice was louder than the others. I heard him say, So now just to be clear, you’re saying they’re a bit high strung?

And then my dad said something and the older guard said, Is that a fact? That’s very sad. And her father a surgeon too. You never know what’s behind it.

Then I heard them moving. I went back to the kitchen. I heard them saying thanks and sorry for disturbing him and goodbye now thanks very much.

The younger guard stuck his head in at the kitchen door and said, Thanks very much there, Suzy. You were very helpful.

I waited until they were gone. Then I went up to my room and closed the door quietly. I went to look for my blades but I heard Dad coming up after me so instead I threw myself on the bed looking away. I heard the door open.

Are you all right, Suzy?

I know what you did.

Suzy you know very well I was only just after my operation and I was taking sleeping tablets. I don’t remember anything.

That’s not what you told the guards though. You could have told them that while I was there. I heard what you said. And I know what you’re doing.

I just don’t remember.

I turned around and looked straight at him. Mam is right about you.

That hit him. He backed out and closed the door hard. I jumped up and pulled my chair over and propped it against the handle. He waited for a few seconds and he tried the handle of the door but I pushed hard against the chair. Then I heard him go downstairs and not long afterwards I heard him on the phone. I took a blade and dropped my pants and very quickly made two short slashes across the front of my thighs. I watched the blood well up in the slits and run down onto the cover of my duvet. A bright pink stain spread and got deeper in colour. I wanted to do it again but the pain was already too much. I threw the blade on the floor and rolled over onto my side. I realised I was crying. I was bleeding all over the bed.

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